as i sit here thinking good heavens... what next..?
cos ive been in here for a life time doing the same things.. how do you change all that..
a mega task.. i just want it all to be done..without the hard bit in the middle..

mebbe god should have just kept me up there a bit longer cos i,m too . what?
not of this world, i,ve always been half in half out never my feet on the floor,
ever since a child..
they say folk who sit with feet tucked under them are,nt really at home here.on earth
and were born too soon, before their time , an accident...
tell me about it.

ive always had this vision in my head of the past even when i,m thinking of other things,
for years .
ive no idea why. never the future, and i never think of the present cos its too horrible to go over twice, living its is bad enough without thinking it over again,

ive thought for a long time i was only ever here to act with others in a way to bring about changes in some way, what i don,t know, life lessons, ? mebbe. part of a lifes lesson.
co conspiritor. who knows..

jill said she,d never have opened the shop if not for me giving her the thought..

another thing, sometimes things that happen in life arent anyones fault,
cos it was orchestrated up there...esp. if you try to change it yet it still seeks you out.
in other words there were maybe reasons for it..who knows what..

id have glady given my life to make everything better, my lifes been of no use to me..
loyalty..