surfaced. late...in a higgle de piggle de fashion co i,m under the weather.. flu came on 2 days a go and it brings all the symptoms back..i,m absolutley boiling hot,i wonder how i get up. or do the blogging but its quite easy sitting here in front of a screen tapping at keys..

I dont have to speak to anyone or be in contact and thats good and bad..

havent the energy for contact but then im getting further and further away from real life and real people. yet i prefer it.

maybe id feel different if i felt well. i may never know cos some days its a struggle.

Im better off like this cos while ill ive made a mess of my life. with everyone,
if id been fit everything would be ok, so till i,m well i,m not doing very much at all.


dreams again,, a symptom of m.e....at mams, nearly every dream is at mams,
im in the kitchen holding a kids party, under the table is a ferris wheel,
i drag it out its about 3 feet high and plug it in, im straightening all the parts cos its opening out like a xmas tree. then i switch it on, it lights up all these beautiful colors..