went to bed early 9pm just woke up, under the weather like flu red hot.ect,
and thinking maybe this is the reason, but im losing interest with the blog.
feel as if ive said it all.
although theres still stuff left unresolved in my life theres nothing in it for me., (blogging)

its a waste of precious time i could be putting into the real part of my life this is just fantasy world stuff. no pay off. knew it would come some time.

think everything comes full circle...
ive gotta try and make summat of my life before its too late
the fairies ? arent going to bring me anything and i want something real.. tangible.

trying to think the last time i felt anything real, in a plastic artificial world,.
it would be over 10 years ago..
long time but my choice, partly through illness, but still....whats the point in fibbing..
that you live this fab life.. where everything is as it should be..

ive never been able to trust anyone in life and ill never be able to.. ever.
i,m on my own, me myself and i. as always..
there are folk much worse off than me..i,m thankful.