think everyone comes up against thier own mortality sometime, making sense of it all, reviewing, may not take long, all depends, a yearning, or not, whatever,
makes us appreciate things cos life can be so shallow. yet some people may always be happy with their lot.
trick is not to be sitting when youre 80 wishing you,d done things you never attempted.
that could be anything, job, ambition, a move, something as daft as taking up dancing lessons just having fun plain n simple..
and its maybe been for the best that at this moment in time my health hasnt been good cos i think i could have been wickedly dangerous.. in the nicest possible way..of course..
gonna tidy my craft stuff up now.
but sometimes i think i could manage it from here, which just proves things find there own way.....,
Thursday 31 January 2008
ice rink..
we graduated from bonfires to the ice rink. freezing but good music, lovely meat pies n hot coffee. gotta new pair ice boots, spent every weekend there, afternoon, evening,
plus wednesday, thursday, friday too. it was always packed out.
when the "shows" came to the sands we were there, easter, summer, big meeting,
. music pulled me there too.
we loved the "ficks" on fridays cos it was double bill horror. 11pm till 2am. dark walking home, no taxi,s. went to see love story every day for a week. never got over the epic ben hur.
very young when i saw it, just remember blood violence, some things stay with you forever.
poor charlton heston.
for me i think musics everything. feeds the soul, takes your mind elsewhere, that can,t be bad.
well not in my book anyway. still have all barry white on vinyl, could,nt part with any,
good nick too, david essex. t. rex. roberta flack. supremes.
badfinger was my first record i think.
I like lyrics but some of the 60,s groups ? good music but lyrics made no sense at all.
what was going on with them .? didnt listen to 60,s music anyway.
just the odd one or two, too young to buy our own records. never too old to try new things.
plus wednesday, thursday, friday too. it was always packed out.
when the "shows" came to the sands we were there, easter, summer, big meeting,
. music pulled me there too.
we loved the "ficks" on fridays cos it was double bill horror. 11pm till 2am. dark walking home, no taxi,s. went to see love story every day for a week. never got over the epic ben hur.
very young when i saw it, just remember blood violence, some things stay with you forever.
poor charlton heston.
for me i think musics everything. feeds the soul, takes your mind elsewhere, that can,t be bad.
well not in my book anyway. still have all barry white on vinyl, could,nt part with any,
good nick too, david essex. t. rex. roberta flack. supremes.
badfinger was my first record i think.
I like lyrics but some of the 60,s groups ? good music but lyrics made no sense at all.
what was going on with them .? didnt listen to 60,s music anyway.
just the odd one or two, too young to buy our own records. never too old to try new things.
slave labour..!
Posted last night about farmers fields i went on to dream about potato picking .
reminded me,
a gang of us girl friends age 13 trooped across the hard as rock frost laden fields in October to the nearby farm hoping to be picked out of the crowd as a worker.
There must have been about 50 kids from far n near, I stood on tiptoes as you had to be 15, it worked and it nearly killed me.
Ive never known such hard slog, the boys moved our stake which made our plot bigger,
theirs smaller.
At the end of the week i could,nt stand up, in bed at 6pm every night.
Pay day? £3.50p, which went a long way, we bought fireworks at Humbles the local shop, wailing banshee,s, golden fountains and rockets, matchmaker chocolates. orange and mint.
went mad.
on weekends we went "mooching", raiding other kids bonfires and running away with all their best bits, wood, old chairs, ect,.
met my first boyfriend potato picking a policemans son.., older than me,
it was one of them, all of us at the pictures swimming baths on a sunday type of friendship,
only went to baths for the hot oxtail soup out of the vendor, which was fab,
i never swam cos im afraid of deep water, nearly drowned,.
remember crackling rosie was top of charts, walked to typing school every tues listening to small blue radio, transistors they were called..
thought i,d die if he left me, he did, (for someone older, more experienced he explained), it would,nt have took much.. and i didnt, but it hurt. "i,ll come back" he said.. i wouldnt have wanted him..
boys were ruthless, girls were in love with the idea of being in love,.
boys? too in love with themselves to love anyone else, but you live and learn, eventually.
best part about potato picking, , a ride home at dinner time n home time in the back of the tractors trailer.
I loved xmas best of all, sledging, making slides as slippery as glass,
we went carol singing knocking on doors, don,t know how i dared,
but everyone did it i wasn,t gonna be left out, you could make a small fortune.... ! tax free.
reminded me,
a gang of us girl friends age 13 trooped across the hard as rock frost laden fields in October to the nearby farm hoping to be picked out of the crowd as a worker.
There must have been about 50 kids from far n near, I stood on tiptoes as you had to be 15, it worked and it nearly killed me.
Ive never known such hard slog, the boys moved our stake which made our plot bigger,
theirs smaller.
At the end of the week i could,nt stand up, in bed at 6pm every night.
Pay day? £3.50p, which went a long way, we bought fireworks at Humbles the local shop, wailing banshee,s, golden fountains and rockets, matchmaker chocolates. orange and mint.
went mad.
on weekends we went "mooching", raiding other kids bonfires and running away with all their best bits, wood, old chairs, ect,.
met my first boyfriend potato picking a policemans son.., older than me,
it was one of them, all of us at the pictures swimming baths on a sunday type of friendship,
only went to baths for the hot oxtail soup out of the vendor, which was fab,
i never swam cos im afraid of deep water, nearly drowned,.
remember crackling rosie was top of charts, walked to typing school every tues listening to small blue radio, transistors they were called..
thought i,d die if he left me, he did, (for someone older, more experienced he explained), it would,nt have took much.. and i didnt, but it hurt. "i,ll come back" he said.. i wouldnt have wanted him..
boys were ruthless, girls were in love with the idea of being in love,.
boys? too in love with themselves to love anyone else, but you live and learn, eventually.
best part about potato picking, , a ride home at dinner time n home time in the back of the tractors trailer.
I loved xmas best of all, sledging, making slides as slippery as glass,
we went carol singing knocking on doors, don,t know how i dared,
but everyone did it i wasn,t gonna be left out, you could make a small fortune.... ! tax free.
starting cardmaking.
gonna cardmake, keep me out of mischief, may print off summer flowers. tulips, roses,
have a lovely craft c,d bought on a bidding site, 4 quid i think brand new. bargains on there.
I could set up my own shop.
seen beautiful ones by joanna sheen. victorian xmas, flowers,
i already have her angel c.d.
its just all inspiring.
have a lovely craft c,d bought on a bidding site, 4 quid i think brand new. bargains on there.
I could set up my own shop.
seen beautiful ones by joanna sheen. victorian xmas, flowers,
i already have her angel c.d.
its just all inspiring.
posted earlier, "mind energy", blogs haywire.!
posted earlier bout mind energy, blogs gone haywire.
its really dark now, went to switch on light got such a jolt. is it static ? heaven knows. !
bring it on. !
computers going crazy..off on, the weather. ?
its really dark now, went to switch on light got such a jolt. is it static ? heaven knows. !
bring it on. !
computers going crazy..off on, the weather. ?
wintry again..
weathers turned wintry again. winds up, blowing a gale. snows forcast.
been up early its had time to be termorra already.
either net or computers slow again, it drives me doolally. technology, who,d have it.?
was it easier in the 1600,s ? lot less stressful, but then folk didnt live much past age 30. so...
In ancient days the native american indians knew who was about to visit by using telepathy.
been up early its had time to be termorra already.
either net or computers slow again, it drives me doolally. technology, who,d have it.?
was it easier in the 1600,s ? lot less stressful, but then folk didnt live much past age 30. so...
In ancient days the native american indians knew who was about to visit by using telepathy.
mind energy !...
Its just a thought bout fave books really. mine is about mind energy, bought in jan. 1999, its dog eared.
It explains the concept of "positive mind energy".
The author claims we all have a white vibrating halo of energy surrounding the head which is affected by every thought, it,s seen in the very earliest paintings of angels ect, invisible of course,
negative thoughts funnel this energy inwards, while thinking positive direct it out towards the universe, where it connects up with the universal source.
this energy its claimed, leaves the body when we die. but really this energy cannot be destroyed.
By harnessing it,s powers we can do much good for ourselves.
Its a simple form of meditation really, and we,re told often how beneficial this is for mind, body, spirit.
the book mentions "universal law", whatever you give out will return to you tenfold.
leylines. ! churches all over the country are built where leylines meet.
thousands of years ago people used thier minds, mind power, to chart these leylines.
these are all just my own observations ive picked up over the years from studying the subject.
I simply find it interesting. thats all,
nothing special, but awesome to me. !
It explains the concept of "positive mind energy".
The author claims we all have a white vibrating halo of energy surrounding the head which is affected by every thought, it,s seen in the very earliest paintings of angels ect, invisible of course,
negative thoughts funnel this energy inwards, while thinking positive direct it out towards the universe, where it connects up with the universal source.
this energy its claimed, leaves the body when we die. but really this energy cannot be destroyed.
By harnessing it,s powers we can do much good for ourselves.
Its a simple form of meditation really, and we,re told often how beneficial this is for mind, body, spirit.
the book mentions "universal law", whatever you give out will return to you tenfold.
leylines. ! churches all over the country are built where leylines meet.
thousands of years ago people used thier minds, mind power, to chart these leylines.
these are all just my own observations ive picked up over the years from studying the subject.
I simply find it interesting. thats all,
nothing special, but awesome to me. !
Wednesday 30 January 2008
kids....
wondering why we never see adults playing on swings. something we lose with age.?
zest for life. !
Ive often passed the big slide thinking id love a go on it. think id have been locked away.
i,m doggo, yawning for england. had oranges to try n perk myself up. good music as per.
zest for life. !
Ive often passed the big slide thinking id love a go on it. think id have been locked away.
i,m doggo, yawning for england. had oranges to try n perk myself up. good music as per.
fields of gold...
the tractors are going up and down a lot lately probably getting ready for spring.
reminded me farmer used to bring the sheep up and down 2 or 3 times a year on foot, or legs, whatever, they used to be in our garden, tons of them.
also, nowadays, after the farm workers have been in the fields and tied all the corn up into big bales, (it,s done by machines ) everythings much easier.
the kids go down in droves, push one or two bales into the ditch, they are massive, and spend hours jumping down into
them then scarper, but not till they,ve trashed as many as they can manage to push over . allegedly.
reminded me farmer used to bring the sheep up and down 2 or 3 times a year on foot, or legs, whatever, they used to be in our garden, tons of them.
also, nowadays, after the farm workers have been in the fields and tied all the corn up into big bales, (it,s done by machines ) everythings much easier.
the kids go down in droves, push one or two bales into the ditch, they are massive, and spend hours jumping down into
them then scarper, but not till they,ve trashed as many as they can manage to push over . allegedly.
vibrational frequencies...!
every living thing has a vibrational frequency. !
extracts...
we create our own circumstances by what we think and the way we act and we have free will to create our lives in any way we wish.. !
we are all united in this never ending loving energy, and therefore what we do to one we do to all. everything in the universe is interconnected. !
we can access the divine intelligence by being silent, listening to our intuition. !
extracts...
we create our own circumstances by what we think and the way we act and we have free will to create our lives in any way we wish.. !
we are all united in this never ending loving energy, and therefore what we do to one we do to all. everything in the universe is interconnected. !
we can access the divine intelligence by being silent, listening to our intuition. !
witching hour
witching hour again. no music. fell asleep dog tired at 2.30pm.
First symptoms started 15 years ago slowly, like having flu, it didn't get better and went on to plunge into the depths of an illness i thought only existed in hell.
after that it came and went, over the years i struggled on.
for anyone unfamiliar with c.f.s. the brain symptoms are by far the worst.
If you think for a moment what joy it is to be able to "think" freely of everyday things, shopping lists, what you,d like to wear that day, which top with which skirt or jeans, what color hair slide to buy, then think what its like not to be able to think without pain, confusion, and not being able to think at all. for fear you,ll die.
not for just a day, but for years, in a world of no understanding, where your only chance of survival is shutting yourself down and shutting yourself away, then you may have an insight into m.e.
thinking is taken for granted, its such a joy until you wake up one day and find you can,t do it anymore.
a doctor (sympathetic) once had to visit a boy locked in his bedroom for years cos no one understood. until fear and illness just stopped him trying any more.
Mine are better in the last year ( brain symptoms) which is how I've been able to hook myself up with the world again, and I've enjoyed it so much,
but you know by doing that has brought me odd misunderstandings. to be expected,
but i had to try, reaching out to the world, hoping for a miracle,
cos nothing i did had brought any light at the end of the tunnel.
I think i still have a lot of good to give. I can serve a purpose.
I can keep on floating about in the mystical ether too , ..
and you know that writing this just opens up wounds that i lock away cos there are just places i can,t go, i tell no one not even people around me,, cos it just brings folk down,
i learnt years ago that Ive gotta be the strong one, i look after everyone else.
I'm the one if you've gotta problem folk say, "Gillian will sort it, tell her, she,ll write off somewhere,"
and Ive found I'm no "bother " as long a i pretend every things fine and dandy.
so i do just that, ever the pleaser. but ive learnt to think for myself now, it feels good.
no one, absolutely no one sees the real me, crying, i hide it very well, I'm a very good actress,
Ive been on my own with it, that's the way it,ll carry on till i,m better, i can do it cos i have no choice if i want any kind of life for myself.
I,m pleading really for the heavens just to give me a break now, see me for what i am,
and throw me some compassion, cos I'm sometimes sinking fast, and think i may never surface again. cosmic ordering.
If anyone i know ever wanted help id stand shoulder to shoulder when the ships going down,
i,m loyal and true to the end.
In fact id fight for them to the death, whats living for if not to help a fellow human.
life's meaningless and shallow, unless you peel away the layers and get down to the nitty gritty.
thats it now, all im saying on the matter, or i,ll be all talked out n washed up really.
to anyone who can get out, go wild, enjoy every minute. don,t stop in, bored.
try new things, take up new challenges, just don,t forget about the ones not able to at this moment in time.
and really ive had some fun times stuck in, hooked upto the mystical universe.
and my confidence will return. and i,ll be out .
forgot,... i,m thankful every day cos if not for the illness id not have been touched by lots of things,
also psychic n spiritual things. so its been no hardship really.
First symptoms started 15 years ago slowly, like having flu, it didn't get better and went on to plunge into the depths of an illness i thought only existed in hell.
after that it came and went, over the years i struggled on.
for anyone unfamiliar with c.f.s. the brain symptoms are by far the worst.
If you think for a moment what joy it is to be able to "think" freely of everyday things, shopping lists, what you,d like to wear that day, which top with which skirt or jeans, what color hair slide to buy, then think what its like not to be able to think without pain, confusion, and not being able to think at all. for fear you,ll die.
not for just a day, but for years, in a world of no understanding, where your only chance of survival is shutting yourself down and shutting yourself away, then you may have an insight into m.e.
thinking is taken for granted, its such a joy until you wake up one day and find you can,t do it anymore.
a doctor (sympathetic) once had to visit a boy locked in his bedroom for years cos no one understood. until fear and illness just stopped him trying any more.
Mine are better in the last year ( brain symptoms) which is how I've been able to hook myself up with the world again, and I've enjoyed it so much,
but you know by doing that has brought me odd misunderstandings. to be expected,
but i had to try, reaching out to the world, hoping for a miracle,
cos nothing i did had brought any light at the end of the tunnel.
I think i still have a lot of good to give. I can serve a purpose.
I can keep on floating about in the mystical ether too , ..
and you know that writing this just opens up wounds that i lock away cos there are just places i can,t go, i tell no one not even people around me,, cos it just brings folk down,
i learnt years ago that Ive gotta be the strong one, i look after everyone else.
I'm the one if you've gotta problem folk say, "Gillian will sort it, tell her, she,ll write off somewhere,"
and Ive found I'm no "bother " as long a i pretend every things fine and dandy.
so i do just that, ever the pleaser. but ive learnt to think for myself now, it feels good.
no one, absolutely no one sees the real me, crying, i hide it very well, I'm a very good actress,
Ive been on my own with it, that's the way it,ll carry on till i,m better, i can do it cos i have no choice if i want any kind of life for myself.
I,m pleading really for the heavens just to give me a break now, see me for what i am,
and throw me some compassion, cos I'm sometimes sinking fast, and think i may never surface again. cosmic ordering.
If anyone i know ever wanted help id stand shoulder to shoulder when the ships going down,
i,m loyal and true to the end.
In fact id fight for them to the death, whats living for if not to help a fellow human.
life's meaningless and shallow, unless you peel away the layers and get down to the nitty gritty.
thats it now, all im saying on the matter, or i,ll be all talked out n washed up really.
to anyone who can get out, go wild, enjoy every minute. don,t stop in, bored.
try new things, take up new challenges, just don,t forget about the ones not able to at this moment in time.
and really ive had some fun times stuck in, hooked upto the mystical universe.
and my confidence will return. and i,ll be out .
forgot,... i,m thankful every day cos if not for the illness id not have been touched by lots of things,
also psychic n spiritual things. so its been no hardship really.
fairytales !
seals that come ashore and shed there skins turning into a human. sounds a good story but it,ll be freezing, still, should be more like that. suns shining into kitchen it,s been ages but snows on it,s way. !
little gremlin in the works.!
This is the little imp that flitters about my kitchen. looks like he,s not alone. and i,m getting really tired.. !
but ive gotta box full of bits n bobs for cardmaking, little wooden pigs faces, mice, giraffes, and imitation sweets, they just brighten up the kitchen. its cold. !
Tuesday 29 January 2008
fairies have been in. !
fairies have been in, well thats a fib if ever there was one, it was me, cleaned the kitchen (partly) had to show willing but now, whacked ! rest up. then start again, they say you get stronger the more you try, so i,ll give it a try., as always. waiting for inspiration. yep. !
part made a fairy card its to finish later.... ! ***** just jazzing it up really.. the page.
looks a bit like a patchwork quilt, different colors, ive been twiddling, try to put it right later.
its a bit dazzling. im off..!
part made a fairy card its to finish later.... ! ***** just jazzing it up really.. the page.
looks a bit like a patchwork quilt, different colors, ive been twiddling, try to put it right later.
its a bit dazzling. im off..!
dead quiet..
dead quiet .no music, very weird. withdawal symptoms settling in, sports got summat to answer for. not fair. !
nothing on telly. 7pm and all is not well.. just have to twiddle thumbs. 7 o4.
i,ll tidy craft drawers. !!
nothing on telly. 7pm and all is not well.. just have to twiddle thumbs. 7 o4.
i,ll tidy craft drawers. !!
day dream believer..
just thinking how fantastic computers are, scan something through and bingo.! seconds is all it takes.
,just brightens the place up, its the only technical thing i can do!
Thinking kylie will probably be no 1 soon, such a good song and she made it back...the "wowWww" factor, its what dreams are made of, comebacks.
too many w,s but, so,...
heard on one prog someone has been cured of m.e, the cost about £800 i,d rather keep my money in my pocket,
but if we could all just flee to a desert island and have the best top class care would we be ill for such a long time.. ?
If i won the lottery thats the first and prob only thing i,d do, 6 months on a desert island.
Id be off like lightening, wouldnt see me for dust,
Id let the rest stack up in the bank.
nothing else i need. what would i take ? books, mobile, thats it.
I,d have to buy a ticket first, i just don,t bother.
the celebs have the luxury of waving bye bye to life and parking themselves in the clinic.
they should try real life. !
it rattles me something wicked esp when its self inflicted, partially or not.
mind altering substances are a big no no, with me too,
can,t for the life of me see the sense in it at all.
lifes good without it. very anti.!
I,m on my high horse now i knew it would happen, teens or older even, going out on the town every weekend getting drunk beyond the pale, why? to meet someone they are too drunk to see or even remember their names., its shallow, empty, meaningless, in fact very scary,
you don,t know who anyone is really, and alcohol, well it just dulls the senses..
you just have to watch the drunk superman advert. its a shocker they should play it on repeat,in schools.
purged the soul. !
,just brightens the place up, its the only technical thing i can do!Thinking kylie will probably be no 1 soon, such a good song and she made it back...the "wowWww" factor, its what dreams are made of, comebacks.
too many w,s but, so,...
heard on one prog someone has been cured of m.e, the cost about £800 i,d rather keep my money in my pocket,
but if we could all just flee to a desert island and have the best top class care would we be ill for such a long time.. ?
If i won the lottery thats the first and prob only thing i,d do, 6 months on a desert island.
Id be off like lightening, wouldnt see me for dust,
Id let the rest stack up in the bank.
nothing else i need. what would i take ? books, mobile, thats it.
I,d have to buy a ticket first, i just don,t bother.
the celebs have the luxury of waving bye bye to life and parking themselves in the clinic.
they should try real life. !
it rattles me something wicked esp when its self inflicted, partially or not.
mind altering substances are a big no no, with me too,
can,t for the life of me see the sense in it at all.
lifes good without it. very anti.!
I,m on my high horse now i knew it would happen, teens or older even, going out on the town every weekend getting drunk beyond the pale, why? to meet someone they are too drunk to see or even remember their names., its shallow, empty, meaningless, in fact very scary,
you don,t know who anyone is really, and alcohol, well it just dulls the senses..
you just have to watch the drunk superman advert. its a shocker they should play it on repeat,in schools.
purged the soul. !
deja vu
bought some earphones for computer don,t even know where they fit. thats got nothing to do with deja vu but i forgot already.. ! no idea what it means really ! spooky.
To anyone who can come up wih a manuscript by march 31st, and there,ll be thousands,
good luck to all of them..i,m off cos i could sleep on a clothesline, !
To anyone who can come up wih a manuscript by march 31st, and there,ll be thousands,
good luck to all of them..i,m off cos i could sleep on a clothesline, !
a mixture !
Was,nt gonna blog yet till afternoon but i,m here anyway. lunch.. well actually thats not true its dinner in durham. telling it how it is, this is me being me, why pretend to be summat youre not.
I remember listening to someone thinking, she talks just like me. another durham lass.
unique, she made me laugh with funny little sayings.
I didn't strike a bat just sat listening to radio and the no smoking. powerless really. !
glad i don't have to give up, i smoked in 70s just cos mates did, called into cafe on north road for 10 no six which progressed to regal on payday, work had a cigs cabin near the doors and when cashing up the "till" id scan the shelves for the latest brands to try the next week, i tried all the exotics, camels, menthol, ect just cos i liked the look of the packet. yuck.
Gave up no bother i never thought about them again. !
I stopped at 21 cos every time i inhaled my heart skipped a beat,
for which i spent many hours at Dryburn on the e.c.g. machine,
diagnosis. doc said "sensitive heart"..
aye bout right.. not much cop really. fragile..!!
couldn't toughen up even if the heavens intervened and brought me a miracle..
cos its just not in me. its too late too change. thats a fib if ever there was one.
contradictory in terms.
whenever I'm in contact with machinery it goes haywire, computer, mobile, house phone, hair stands up sometimes on the dogs, but the "twizzles" still wag their tails, i could be classed as a liability. !
If i eat certain foods, (over the last few years), i have palpitations,
esp things with e numbers, i eat no junk food, sweets ect crisps, cake,
if i do i suffer, i shouldn't drink wine but I'm finishing a bottle off from xmas,
im not wasting it, just makes me want to go to sleep.
not drinking during the day, perish the thought.
Mercury's working already !! 12.08 its had time to be termorra.. collect? compulsive hoarder. was. ive downsized a lot. could have set up my own library.
..snows on its way again,... it'll not bother me..!!
the washers leaking. its just new too, top of the range.
but i do still love a laugh, a giggle..esp when not supposed to, i do it all the time and did on many important occasions which is quite shameful to admit to really,... i get myself in so much trouble through it, in fact troubles my middle name !!
i could be called incorrigible.. i don't really know what that means..!.
Ive gotta get back to being me sometime cos that's who i am, i cant be anyone else.
I remember listening to someone thinking, she talks just like me. another durham lass.
unique, she made me laugh with funny little sayings.
I didn't strike a bat just sat listening to radio and the no smoking. powerless really. !
glad i don't have to give up, i smoked in 70s just cos mates did, called into cafe on north road for 10 no six which progressed to regal on payday, work had a cigs cabin near the doors and when cashing up the "till" id scan the shelves for the latest brands to try the next week, i tried all the exotics, camels, menthol, ect just cos i liked the look of the packet. yuck.
Gave up no bother i never thought about them again. !
I stopped at 21 cos every time i inhaled my heart skipped a beat,
for which i spent many hours at Dryburn on the e.c.g. machine,
diagnosis. doc said "sensitive heart"..
aye bout right.. not much cop really. fragile..!!
couldn't toughen up even if the heavens intervened and brought me a miracle..
cos its just not in me. its too late too change. thats a fib if ever there was one.
contradictory in terms.
whenever I'm in contact with machinery it goes haywire, computer, mobile, house phone, hair stands up sometimes on the dogs, but the "twizzles" still wag their tails, i could be classed as a liability. !
If i eat certain foods, (over the last few years), i have palpitations,
esp things with e numbers, i eat no junk food, sweets ect crisps, cake,
if i do i suffer, i shouldn't drink wine but I'm finishing a bottle off from xmas,
im not wasting it, just makes me want to go to sleep.
not drinking during the day, perish the thought.
Mercury's working already !! 12.08 its had time to be termorra.. collect? compulsive hoarder. was. ive downsized a lot. could have set up my own library.
..snows on its way again,... it'll not bother me..!!
the washers leaking. its just new too, top of the range.
but i do still love a laugh, a giggle..esp when not supposed to, i do it all the time and did on many important occasions which is quite shameful to admit to really,... i get myself in so much trouble through it, in fact troubles my middle name !!
i could be called incorrigible.. i don't really know what that means..!.
Ive gotta get back to being me sometime cos that's who i am, i cant be anyone else.
t,s
ian mentioned the horse in the market i missed the first bit cos i fell asleep. dog tired.
Its true they are thinking of removing the big green horse and neptune too.
part of durhams vision of 2020 i think dont quote me. !! gotta do some boring jobs did "nowt" yesterday. butterfly to keep me company. a dream last night. small, brown with red spots.
magic finds its own way. signing out !
Its true they are thinking of removing the big green horse and neptune too.
part of durhams vision of 2020 i think dont quote me. !! gotta do some boring jobs did "nowt" yesterday. butterfly to keep me company. a dream last night. small, brown with red spots.
magic finds its own way. signing out !
Monday 28 January 2008
vibrational frequencies.--auras-- soul journies.
affirmations..
that upon which we focus expands, and therefore ideally we need to focus on love, peace, joy, and the finer aspects of all those with whom we come into contact.
everything around us is a reflection of ourselves and we attract into our lives people and
situations that will help us grow by mirroring what we need to see in ourselves. !
everything around us is a reflection of ourselves and we attract into our lives people and
situations that will help us grow by mirroring what we need to see in ourselves. !
angels
affirmation. Your children are not your children they are the sons and daughters of life itself.
no complaining
If i feel tempted to complain i just have to think of Ians talk of the holocaust, which was heartrending, he said it took 3 takes, i can understand that.
im shamed into thinking positive even if i don,t feel like it.
off to cardmake,
burnt the oven chips. can,t cook. !
im shamed into thinking positive even if i don,t feel like it.
off to cardmake,
burnt the oven chips. can,t cook. !
truant memories..
I missed a lot of school through being ill, if it wasn,t cold it was ear trouble or chilblains.
I was quite happy watching wooden tops, tales of the river bank ,andy pandy, i saw the little girl on the test card so often i thought she was a relative.
my grandad looked after me he learned me spellings, he repeated one word every day and i often wondered why.
he said you might need it one day, it was psychi, he never finished it. left open he would say.
I spent hours upstairs at grandads in the "little room" thats the name for the smallest bedroom around here, looking out of the window through my older brothers binoculars out across to durham the cathedral and the great north road, weird thing is its the same view ive looked out on from here, the view hasn,t changed, not one iota in all those years.
granda would take me around the "dairy" as it was called with the greyhound, we would pass the hunting lodge houses that have been there since lord Boyne owned the estate,
i used to say id love to live there, so quiet and lovely scenery, we,d carry on
down to Croxdale past Burn hall beautiful in summer i thought if i could be a nun esp after seeing sound of music, id get out of school forever.
life was to be lived not stuck in school.
my sons raking in the freezer behind me and honestly i could slap him.. noise...!! he,s over 18 and towers over me, i prob couldnt reach. so this isnt cruelty.
tried customizing the blog yesterday , ive made a mess of it. lost half my stuff.
I was quite happy watching wooden tops, tales of the river bank ,andy pandy, i saw the little girl on the test card so often i thought she was a relative.
my grandad looked after me he learned me spellings, he repeated one word every day and i often wondered why.
he said you might need it one day, it was psychi, he never finished it. left open he would say.
I spent hours upstairs at grandads in the "little room" thats the name for the smallest bedroom around here, looking out of the window through my older brothers binoculars out across to durham the cathedral and the great north road, weird thing is its the same view ive looked out on from here, the view hasn,t changed, not one iota in all those years.
granda would take me around the "dairy" as it was called with the greyhound, we would pass the hunting lodge houses that have been there since lord Boyne owned the estate,
i used to say id love to live there, so quiet and lovely scenery, we,d carry on
down to Croxdale past Burn hall beautiful in summer i thought if i could be a nun esp after seeing sound of music, id get out of school forever.
life was to be lived not stuck in school.
my sons raking in the freezer behind me and honestly i could slap him.. noise...!! he,s over 18 and towers over me, i prob couldnt reach. so this isnt cruelty.
tried customizing the blog yesterday , ive made a mess of it. lost half my stuff.
summer holiday
every summer we went to the seaside in my uncles van with the teapot.
seaburn, southshields all over,
the whole extended family about 8 of us, the van was converted, wouldnt be allowed nowadays.
but i suffered terrible travel sickness, couldnt even go to durham without being ill and bishop was out cos i fainted every time we finally got off the bus..
had to be carried into doggarts to be revived by hot tea.
The teapot was carried across the sands to the little cafe on the front to be filled with hot water, then they trooped back across the sands where the tea by that time was cold, egg sandwiches filled with sand. but lovely all the same.
afternoons were spent riding the "little train" at seaburn, it ran around the boating lake.
we sang all the way there cliffs summer holiday and got into trouble incase it put my uncle off his driving.
I can remember one sad time a lad drowned, they brought him up past us and it,s never left me. it ruined every trip to the sea after that. so sad.
we also went on browney chapel sunday school trip every year, i loved chapel.
esp. xmas parties where we were allowed to play postmans knock that wouldnt be allowed either.
anniversarys where we stood up and recited a poem in our fancy frocks.
ive still the books i was given as anniversary presents, heidi, loved that , n uncle toms cabin.
the chapel came up for sale i nearly put an offer in, but changed my mind. Its beautiful now.!
seaburn, southshields all over,
the whole extended family about 8 of us, the van was converted, wouldnt be allowed nowadays.
but i suffered terrible travel sickness, couldnt even go to durham without being ill and bishop was out cos i fainted every time we finally got off the bus..
had to be carried into doggarts to be revived by hot tea.
The teapot was carried across the sands to the little cafe on the front to be filled with hot water, then they trooped back across the sands where the tea by that time was cold, egg sandwiches filled with sand. but lovely all the same.
afternoons were spent riding the "little train" at seaburn, it ran around the boating lake.
we sang all the way there cliffs summer holiday and got into trouble incase it put my uncle off his driving.
I can remember one sad time a lad drowned, they brought him up past us and it,s never left me. it ruined every trip to the sea after that. so sad.
we also went on browney chapel sunday school trip every year, i loved chapel.
esp. xmas parties where we were allowed to play postmans knock that wouldnt be allowed either.
anniversarys where we stood up and recited a poem in our fancy frocks.
ive still the books i was given as anniversary presents, heidi, loved that , n uncle toms cabin.
the chapel came up for sale i nearly put an offer in, but changed my mind. Its beautiful now.!
palmistry..
Ive been studying palmistry for years, its very interesting, lines on hands, shape of fingers length ect. noticed abut 3 years ago
my right hand has a distinct mark on the life line, and fateline, a break,
found this, A break in the life line shows breakdown in energy for which remedial tactics are needed to bridge the gap.
Rest, nourishment, and relaxation are all positive mending processes.
The fate line assisting a short lifeline, i have this too, this line indicates a change in lifestyle.
The lifeline circles the palm from thumb to wrist and can be measured in years, the nearer the wrist without a break the longer the life, a break a splintering at the end near the wrist can indicate how your last years will be spent, splintering may mean breathing probs. these are just my observations.
The fateline starts at the wrist stretches up towards the fingers in usually a straight line.
if it comes into contact with the lifeline it can mean illness of some kind. or some difficulty.
my right hand has a distinct mark on the life line, and fateline, a break,
found this, A break in the life line shows breakdown in energy for which remedial tactics are needed to bridge the gap.
Rest, nourishment, and relaxation are all positive mending processes.
The fate line assisting a short lifeline, i have this too, this line indicates a change in lifestyle.
The lifeline circles the palm from thumb to wrist and can be measured in years, the nearer the wrist without a break the longer the life, a break a splintering at the end near the wrist can indicate how your last years will be spent, splintering may mean breathing probs. these are just my observations.
The fateline starts at the wrist stretches up towards the fingers in usually a straight line.
if it comes into contact with the lifeline it can mean illness of some kind. or some difficulty.
cardmaking
back on track. ! cardmaking..
just a simple card pic trying to cheer the place up. i could do with it, singing, badly,for which i,ll be in bother, who gives a stuff? winds dropped. suns out. !
Sunday 27 January 2008
morning
woke feeling really weird..! went to stand up had to sit straight back down,.. vertigo?
don,t know, room spinning, had it before when virus kicked in, freezing too.
But after listening to Ian t,s, about a holocaust survivors story no one should complain and i,m not , cos half of us don,t know we are born, it was a harrowing tale, inspiring too , to be hearing this story all these years later which proves testament to this persons courage and determination....
Ive seen pictures of Treblinka in Poland thinking the place looks so still, dead, Ive thought i wouldn't think even the birds sing there, there was no life to be seen,so very sad.
how anyone can do such wicked terrible things to another human just beggars belief really which shows how warped a mind can become.
brought me to the conclusion, make the most of the people you love, don,t be afraid to love,
you only get one chance, well in this lifetime anyway,.
.we should look at and review all our friendships too, the awesome connections that came about by chance, the beauty, and how much joy they bring us, treasure the meaning of them cos sometimes they can become lost forever in the daily struggle we call "life", a very small request but the benefits can be and are immeasurable. x
i,m going on the Treblinka site later,
lest we forget..!!
i,m just putting my own thoughts down, for record and reflection purposes.
don,t know, room spinning, had it before when virus kicked in, freezing too.
But after listening to Ian t,s, about a holocaust survivors story no one should complain and i,m not , cos half of us don,t know we are born, it was a harrowing tale, inspiring too , to be hearing this story all these years later which proves testament to this persons courage and determination....
Ive seen pictures of Treblinka in Poland thinking the place looks so still, dead, Ive thought i wouldn't think even the birds sing there, there was no life to be seen,so very sad.
how anyone can do such wicked terrible things to another human just beggars belief really which shows how warped a mind can become.
brought me to the conclusion, make the most of the people you love, don,t be afraid to love,
you only get one chance, well in this lifetime anyway,.
.we should look at and review all our friendships too, the awesome connections that came about by chance, the beauty, and how much joy they bring us, treasure the meaning of them cos sometimes they can become lost forever in the daily struggle we call "life", a very small request but the benefits can be and are immeasurable. x
i,m going on the Treblinka site later,
lest we forget..!!
i,m just putting my own thoughts down, for record and reflection purposes.
Saturday 26 January 2008
nighthawks
listening to ian speak about the holocaust, i,m ashamed to think i ever complained, i,ll never do it again.
perspective !
cloud pic taken last summer from garden by me.,durham cathedral just behind line of trees centre, a really hot day, heatwave, i sat in garden caught sun, enjoyed it, but by night the air was so heavy, sultry, i was wishing it cooler, never satisfied, but first year able to sit in garden for eons, so thankful,
cloud pic taken last summer from garden by me.,durham cathedral just behind line of trees centre, a really hot day, heatwave, i sat in garden caught sun, enjoyed it, but by night the air was so heavy, sultry, i was wishing it cooler, never satisfied, but first year able to sit in garden for eons, so thankful,
back in land of the living dead..
watched part d,dancing, good music, dead quiet, eerie, air palpable, heavy,
like you feel before a thunder storm, need to shake myself and do stuff, but i,m not,
i may just rebalance my chakra.s instead either that or go stir crazy.
This is the time of night i like i,m a nighthawk, some are day folk others night folk i,m part of the "unsleepers" gang, i usually tidy the house, most of my jobs are done between now n 2am.
tellys been a disgrace. "nowt" on probably cos everyones out having a great time.
I truly hope everyone i know is out there letting thier hair down having the best time.
unwinding, letting off steam..dancing the night away,..(id prefer to sit it out)
.or just simply chilling out.
clubs are,nt my scene anyway, i remember being in wetheralls sunderland about 72 when the whole place went up, some big gang fighting, i never got over it, that was my last time in one.
theres a place loads of stairs down, i always felt claustrophobic there too, it,ll be different now, but no wonder folk get phobias in small enclosed places,.
noticed in paper today, big meetings on 12th july and i,m thinking, "eehh it,s a bit early to put it in the paper" yet it,s only a few months away which just proves how time flies.
like you feel before a thunder storm, need to shake myself and do stuff, but i,m not,
i may just rebalance my chakra.s instead either that or go stir crazy.
This is the time of night i like i,m a nighthawk, some are day folk others night folk i,m part of the "unsleepers" gang, i usually tidy the house, most of my jobs are done between now n 2am.
tellys been a disgrace. "nowt" on probably cos everyones out having a great time.
I truly hope everyone i know is out there letting thier hair down having the best time.
unwinding, letting off steam..dancing the night away,..(id prefer to sit it out)
.or just simply chilling out.
clubs are,nt my scene anyway, i remember being in wetheralls sunderland about 72 when the whole place went up, some big gang fighting, i never got over it, that was my last time in one.
theres a place loads of stairs down, i always felt claustrophobic there too, it,ll be different now, but no wonder folk get phobias in small enclosed places,.
noticed in paper today, big meetings on 12th july and i,m thinking, "eehh it,s a bit early to put it in the paper" yet it,s only a few months away which just proves how time flies.
turning in.
usually party people of which i used to be one say they are turning out, well just to be awkward i,m turning in, and i,m just cutting my nose off to spite my own face really sooo ..what.. !
cos of this i,ll be up no doubt into the wee small hours...
so much for big ideas of cardmaking..
.believe it or not,..i used to throw wild parties every week, made my own punch.. threw everything in, witches brew,.. thought if i added slices of orange n lemon it,d look presentable but it was actually lethal......my dad never forgave me the fact my mam was so drunk she walked upstairs backwards and slept with the dog, my aunty was sick on the way home straight into the car heater. ...yep. me all over.....i didnt do it on purpose..!! i,m in a strop!
cos of this i,ll be up no doubt into the wee small hours...
so much for big ideas of cardmaking..
.believe it or not,..i used to throw wild parties every week, made my own punch.. threw everything in, witches brew,.. thought if i added slices of orange n lemon it,d look presentable but it was actually lethal......my dad never forgave me the fact my mam was so drunk she walked upstairs backwards and slept with the dog, my aunty was sick on the way home straight into the car heater. ...yep. me all over.....i didnt do it on purpose..!! i,m in a strop!
witching hour
getting near witching hour again i,m "frozzen" it,s getting to be like groundhog day,
it seems as if its gonna be years till termorra again, but this has been my life for so long,
the blogs turned out to be a bit of company, just me talking to my inner self, can,t hurt as long as i remember stick to rules, blogs are about yourself no one else, well mine is,thats the way it always will be with me. (and my dogs)
boring but thats the way it is. take it or leave it. !
Ive always liked to witter on.
steak n crinkly oven chips for tea, yuck, i,ll just have chips n the gravy, with bread, lunch was brussels, parsnip, cabbage, lamb that i didnt have, so had extra carrots, little megs stretched out on the settee, its settee in durham, not sofa, all the same the world over though.
winds dropped,
gotta cupboard full of eatables left over from xmas that i knew wouldnt get eaten but we still panic buy, didnt buy a xmas cake this year, it,d have been a waste. satsumas going mouldy in the bowl.
Im gonna make some cards after tea and into the night although my throats sore eyes are weary, nothing on the box at all except game shows, does anyone actually watch them?
could watch d. dancing later, bought it from a bidding site bargain brand new 2.50,
think maybe "baby" should change her name now, but musics so good and everyones a romantic at heart. teas up!
it seems as if its gonna be years till termorra again, but this has been my life for so long,
the blogs turned out to be a bit of company, just me talking to my inner self, can,t hurt as long as i remember stick to rules, blogs are about yourself no one else, well mine is,thats the way it always will be with me. (and my dogs)
boring but thats the way it is. take it or leave it. !
Ive always liked to witter on.
steak n crinkly oven chips for tea, yuck, i,ll just have chips n the gravy, with bread, lunch was brussels, parsnip, cabbage, lamb that i didnt have, so had extra carrots, little megs stretched out on the settee, its settee in durham, not sofa, all the same the world over though.
winds dropped,
gotta cupboard full of eatables left over from xmas that i knew wouldnt get eaten but we still panic buy, didnt buy a xmas cake this year, it,d have been a waste. satsumas going mouldy in the bowl.
Im gonna make some cards after tea and into the night although my throats sore eyes are weary, nothing on the box at all except game shows, does anyone actually watch them?
could watch d. dancing later, bought it from a bidding site bargain brand new 2.50,
think maybe "baby" should change her name now, but musics so good and everyones a romantic at heart. teas up!
demon drink..
mam just phoned weve been putting the world to rights me esp. about alcohol.
I have an aversion to anyone who partakes of the demon drink.
I can,t help being this way, i just can,t see the sense in something that dulls perception, magnifies problems, and loosens the tongue, think its getting worse, "bingeing", teens are brainwashed into thinking it,s okay. sad.
I have an aversion to anyone who partakes of the demon drink.
I can,t help being this way, i just can,t see the sense in something that dulls perception, magnifies problems, and loosens the tongue, think its getting worse, "bingeing", teens are brainwashed into thinking it,s okay. sad.
Friday 25 January 2008
"nowt" going down..
"nowt" on tv not that i,d be watching. think it,s like an addiction, if you do without it diminishes. must be 4 month since i really sat down to watch anything except the craft channel or fashion on qvc,..
the bubble..
winds still blowing a gale, next doors gotta for sale notice in our garden it,s blown down..i still have.nt done anything constructive which could end up being quite destructive cos i need to wash up.
I may set the "bubble" away, an air purifyer filled with perfumed oils, claims it washes the air !
I may set the "bubble" away, an air purifyer filled with perfumed oils, claims it washes the air !
life
thinking too my dads been ill,... ? well .. made me think, one day i may have to go back to my mams for a while, to help there too, shes disabled , it wouldn't be force work cos mams been good to me, if so the computer would have to come with me if that's poss, i don,t know, i couldn't do without it now.
Ive been reviewing, Ive never been anywhere without my mam, thats true, she called for me every morning for years while she could get out, must be years,, well it is.. we went out together, Durham, mainly Durham.
although married i never really left home so much was the close ness, i split myself between the two, they helped me when life was a nightmare in the early years,
it,s just the way things are done around here,...mam n dad just live around the corner, well about 3 streets away, in small villages everyone pops in and out all the time.
I worked for a doctor at the time ,who lived just across the road from mam he was really kind to me his wife too, i made them laugh one day by announcing id found a birds egg in the study, when they flapped and went to look they laughed when realising i,d put a "grit big" melon there to ripen in the sun on the window sill. both gone now sadly.
I spent every day up till 6 o clock there, all my life, they,ve a lovely big garden, had meals, helped out, laughed, which just proves my point ,i never grew up, i don,t think i ever will. i feel 17 in my head truly and its great, honestly.
also life, its just the way it is in close small villages, but it,s been good..
my son has gone every day since he was born, never missed a day,
here is just a stop gap for him, but i,m so thankful that he,s had his gran n grandad
cos it,s made him the fine lad that he is now, good principles, morals ect. a joker.
he,s the one you,ll find in the middle of his mates or even strangers, trying to sort out some dispute, coming off worst sometimes,
but he still try,s to make everyone friends again, happy go lucky, friendly.
he,s the double of me in every way really, esp personality, but we are both aries ,
headstrong, fiery, and can rub each other the wrong way, too much alike,
they say people with same starsigns or signs near each other are a lot alike too.
5.15 oz born,tiny, yet 6ft 2in now, blonde, he towers over me and the fridge,
i can be a bit overenthusiastic, rush in where angels fear to tread n live to regret,
but the real me is effervescent, bubbly, with a zest for life that can be infectious.. it never goes away just sometimes gets bogged down a bit.. i,m off to do some jobs..
can,t do any jobs, i tried,..sat here all morning,. so it,s rest up.
.gonna buy some new aromatheray oils for burner, maybe, frankinsense. neroli, and orange blossom..is a calmer esp for palpitations ect.
Ive been reviewing, Ive never been anywhere without my mam, thats true, she called for me every morning for years while she could get out, must be years,, well it is.. we went out together, Durham, mainly Durham.
although married i never really left home so much was the close ness, i split myself between the two, they helped me when life was a nightmare in the early years,
it,s just the way things are done around here,...mam n dad just live around the corner, well about 3 streets away, in small villages everyone pops in and out all the time.
I worked for a doctor at the time ,who lived just across the road from mam he was really kind to me his wife too, i made them laugh one day by announcing id found a birds egg in the study, when they flapped and went to look they laughed when realising i,d put a "grit big" melon there to ripen in the sun on the window sill. both gone now sadly.
I spent every day up till 6 o clock there, all my life, they,ve a lovely big garden, had meals, helped out, laughed, which just proves my point ,i never grew up, i don,t think i ever will. i feel 17 in my head truly and its great, honestly.
also life, its just the way it is in close small villages, but it,s been good..
my son has gone every day since he was born, never missed a day,
here is just a stop gap for him, but i,m so thankful that he,s had his gran n grandad
cos it,s made him the fine lad that he is now, good principles, morals ect. a joker.
he,s the one you,ll find in the middle of his mates or even strangers, trying to sort out some dispute, coming off worst sometimes,
but he still try,s to make everyone friends again, happy go lucky, friendly.
he,s the double of me in every way really, esp personality, but we are both aries ,
headstrong, fiery, and can rub each other the wrong way, too much alike,
they say people with same starsigns or signs near each other are a lot alike too.
5.15 oz born,tiny, yet 6ft 2in now, blonde, he towers over me and the fridge,
i can be a bit overenthusiastic, rush in where angels fear to tread n live to regret,
but the real me is effervescent, bubbly, with a zest for life that can be infectious.. it never goes away just sometimes gets bogged down a bit.. i,m off to do some jobs..
can,t do any jobs, i tried,..sat here all morning,. so it,s rest up.
.gonna buy some new aromatheray oils for burner, maybe, frankinsense. neroli, and orange blossom..is a calmer esp for palpitations ect.
busy
11am, and i have,nt struck a bat so ive gotta get on ..another window out in the greenhouse,
thinking of things ive plenty of,.... "time" ....but and its the big one , is "time" on my side.. maybe i,ll never know.. lifes full of guess work..!
ive gotta find my feet again before i think of tomorrow, next week, month ,..
who knows>>> ? a journey back to life....
I study astrology in depth and enjoy learning, the egyptians have something to answer for,..
my stars for today are as goes,
time for solitude and reflection,...
who am i to argue with the universe...! in the past i have done, now i trust in it.. ke sera..
listening to radio n.c i find inspiration through listening... some interviews are so heartening and uplifting, these local people are the real stars of the northeast...
thinking of things ive plenty of,.... "time" ....but and its the big one , is "time" on my side.. maybe i,ll never know.. lifes full of guess work..!
ive gotta find my feet again before i think of tomorrow, next week, month ,..
who knows>>> ? a journey back to life....
I study astrology in depth and enjoy learning, the egyptians have something to answer for,..
my stars for today are as goes,
time for solitude and reflection,...
who am i to argue with the universe...! in the past i have done, now i trust in it.. ke sera..
listening to radio n.c i find inspiration through listening... some interviews are so heartening and uplifting, these local people are the real stars of the northeast...
windy
wind blew down from the north last night, snow on it,s icy tail, it,s still here, blowing a veritable gale... greenhouse windows out so no doubt now the whole shebang will end up ower the rainbow..in oz..im not worrying about it ive got enough on me plate..
listened to truckshunters till about 2am..its good when ian trys to read out little "comical" snippets from listeners but can,t quite manage without giving way to mirth.,.you can feel it bubbling up.. ive heard it done on other shows..thats what radio should be about...fun......
when im on form i have a "devilish" side and appreciate that kinda humour.. and we like gaffes, the mix ups,.. not that there are many.....but howay we,re all human.. it,s why people listen..... the joy and laughter...it,s why i,m still a listener to all progs., and will go on being a listener , i vowed once to myself a long long time ago id listen till i dropped off my perch,.. i don,t go back on my word.. i havent changed my mind.and it,s free. ....
i bet that,ll be disputed.. ... some know it all......
well...howay stop taking life so seriously..... radio,s a cheery vioce in the dark..a lifeline for some... listening to good music, interesting info.... company.. but at the end of the day no one knows if as a "listener" you,re really "there" or not.. unless you tune in..!
you can be cooking,, (radio ever on in the background)...tidying the house,..cardmaking, dusting teapots. who.s to know.?
. but yourself... and the man in the moon..!
.
trying to change my google clock yesterday came across a horse blogger, a family in arizona who write all day about looking after thier horses..
i thought when reading about others lives you get a picture in your head. "magic", an insight into the life of another you did,nt know about......
listened to truckshunters till about 2am..its good when ian trys to read out little "comical" snippets from listeners but can,t quite manage without giving way to mirth.,.you can feel it bubbling up.. ive heard it done on other shows..thats what radio should be about...fun......
when im on form i have a "devilish" side and appreciate that kinda humour.. and we like gaffes, the mix ups,.. not that there are many.....but howay we,re all human.. it,s why people listen..... the joy and laughter...it,s why i,m still a listener to all progs., and will go on being a listener , i vowed once to myself a long long time ago id listen till i dropped off my perch,.. i don,t go back on my word.. i havent changed my mind.and it,s free. ....
i bet that,ll be disputed.. ... some know it all......
well...howay stop taking life so seriously..... radio,s a cheery vioce in the dark..a lifeline for some... listening to good music, interesting info.... company.. but at the end of the day no one knows if as a "listener" you,re really "there" or not.. unless you tune in..!
you can be cooking,, (radio ever on in the background)...tidying the house,..cardmaking, dusting teapots. who.s to know.?
. but yourself... and the man in the moon..!
.
trying to change my google clock yesterday came across a horse blogger, a family in arizona who write all day about looking after thier horses..
i thought when reading about others lives you get a picture in your head. "magic", an insight into the life of another you did,nt know about......
meg and tara snoring the house down. may have a polony sandwich while listening to truckshunters. I,ll be up until 3am probably, i,ll dust, clean benches, or may just do absolutely "nowt"...
night to all "unsleepers" out there in the universal mystical ether. xxx
and our letter box has just rattled, i didnt dare look out. don,t like it at all..
computers been going haywire for 2 days..ever since i began printing, sounds like an old steam train does,nt fill me with gladness.. i,m off... eyes like organ stops..
night to all "unsleepers" out there in the universal mystical ether. xxx
and our letter box has just rattled, i didnt dare look out. don,t like it at all..
computers been going haywire for 2 days..ever since i began printing, sounds like an old steam train does,nt fill me with gladness.. i,m off... eyes like organ stops..
Thursday 24 January 2008
angels
angels.. picked out 3 cards......
being.... my soul rests in the truth that my being is eternal.
service.... i offer the best of my talents and goodwill making my place in the universe a better one.
faith.... i have faith that goodness and joy are mine now and forever.
washed up and tired out
went to sleep at 4pm. just woke sad. thats all i can say really.
throat sore, the full works , didn,t make cards today after all,
did,nt have the heart, don,t bother with much telly either it has to be summat awesome to keep me interested,
spellbounds the word but theres nothing.
I do like films like highlander, brave heart, but all good ones have sad endings.
maybe a good murder mystery would do it that,ll keep me guessing but there,s none.
i still would,nt watch it.
the kitchens my home., where the computer is, and ive a sanctuary so i,m very lucky in that respect..some people don,t have that. I know that.
Ive been out of my own living room for so long i don,t look right if i,m in there. that sounds gobble de gook. but there you go,
ive no intention of sitting in front of the box just out of habit
i don,t know how people do it, what keeps thier attention?
and if i watch a prog i usually know how it ends, how i don,t know......or think, i could have made it a better ending. truth is i,m very hard to please.
If i went to disneyland it,d hold no delight cos the way i feel i could shut my eyes and see it all in front of me, for "nowt" this has become second nature.
hoping tomorrows gonna be better. think this is what comes from giving up or losing some parts of your life, to whatever,... illness. circumstance, im gonna have to try and pull my self out of it, its fed up avenue down my way..another looooonng night and it,s quiet, empty. truth is i,m low and when low the immune system slows down. our bodies are wondrous things and we just abuse them. don,t give them what they need. cos we don,t bother looking inside. i do a bit too much. but never pay heed..
no point telling fibs cos i wanna look back on this and think have i made any progress.?..at the moment it,s a big NO...
bought the "twizzles" proper doggy choc drops they won,t touch them.. ! even they look fed up.
and it,s blowing up a gale outside, black as night,.. prob cos it is...
throat sore, the full works , didn,t make cards today after all,
did,nt have the heart, don,t bother with much telly either it has to be summat awesome to keep me interested,
spellbounds the word but theres nothing.
I do like films like highlander, brave heart, but all good ones have sad endings.
maybe a good murder mystery would do it that,ll keep me guessing but there,s none.
i still would,nt watch it.
the kitchens my home., where the computer is, and ive a sanctuary so i,m very lucky in that respect..some people don,t have that. I know that.
Ive been out of my own living room for so long i don,t look right if i,m in there. that sounds gobble de gook. but there you go,
ive no intention of sitting in front of the box just out of habit
i don,t know how people do it, what keeps thier attention?
and if i watch a prog i usually know how it ends, how i don,t know......or think, i could have made it a better ending. truth is i,m very hard to please.
If i went to disneyland it,d hold no delight cos the way i feel i could shut my eyes and see it all in front of me, for "nowt" this has become second nature.
hoping tomorrows gonna be better. think this is what comes from giving up or losing some parts of your life, to whatever,... illness. circumstance, im gonna have to try and pull my self out of it, its fed up avenue down my way..another looooonng night and it,s quiet, empty. truth is i,m low and when low the immune system slows down. our bodies are wondrous things and we just abuse them. don,t give them what they need. cos we don,t bother looking inside. i do a bit too much. but never pay heed..
no point telling fibs cos i wanna look back on this and think have i made any progress.?..at the moment it,s a big NO...
bought the "twizzles" proper doggy choc drops they won,t touch them.. ! even they look fed up.
and it,s blowing up a gale outside, black as night,.. prob cos it is...
bullying..
childhood cruelty which i found sad and shocking. the lady mentioned self esteem, this i think is the ruination of some people, low self esteem.!
reminded me of 2 instances of bullying, first at primary school then again in my first work place.
first time the excuse, i was the only child at home so therefor must have had such a cushy life,
i think i had a happy home life but that didn't warrant bullying,
it ruined me and gave me shingles age 12.
At work my promotion took the limelight away
from the resident "bright eyed girl" who went on to make my life misery by freezing me out.
I kept on chipping away until i finally won her round by saying one day i,d been to see Rory Gallagher at city hall night before, she must have liked him, showed interest for the first time,
we went on to be good friends, i really should have stood up for myself and never spoke to her again but its not my nature i can,t bear the thought of someone not being a friend,
esp. when its unjustified.
she began copying everything i did, dress, hair, etc,
I,m wondering, if like me you can,t stand garlic how on earth do you live in a "garlic world" cos it,s everywhere, i must be the only one.! ive taken the capsules but thats different,
no wonder it keeps dracula away.
reminded me of 2 instances of bullying, first at primary school then again in my first work place.
first time the excuse, i was the only child at home so therefor must have had such a cushy life,
i think i had a happy home life but that didn't warrant bullying,
it ruined me and gave me shingles age 12.
At work my promotion took the limelight away
from the resident "bright eyed girl" who went on to make my life misery by freezing me out.
I kept on chipping away until i finally won her round by saying one day i,d been to see Rory Gallagher at city hall night before, she must have liked him, showed interest for the first time,
we went on to be good friends, i really should have stood up for myself and never spoke to her again but its not my nature i can,t bear the thought of someone not being a friend,
esp. when its unjustified.
she began copying everything i did, dress, hair, etc,
I,m wondering, if like me you can,t stand garlic how on earth do you live in a "garlic world" cos it,s everywhere, i must be the only one.! ive taken the capsules but thats different,
no wonder it keeps dracula away.
clocks
Im gonna go on and try changing the clock, how i don,t know.. did it. !
I,m trying to think forward to warm sunny days, hint of lavender in the air instead of being stuck in the same old groove otherwise nothings gonna change for the better.
I,m trying to think forward to warm sunny days, hint of lavender in the air instead of being stuck in the same old groove otherwise nothings gonna change for the better.
11.30am
listening intently to homeopathy..! a road Ive already been down.. but it,s worth another shot,, making a list of things i need to do Ive always known this i just couldn't do it all. easier on here than writing.
don,ts..
no caffeine, meat, dairy,
alcohol, don,t bother much anyway in fact i am and always have been allergic to alcohol.
wheat.
stress?
do,s.
relaxation.
thinking of myself first instead of the other way round martyrs go to an early grave.
fruit veg already eat loads. esp. carrots....dogs love them too..!
adequate rest,graded excerise, fresh air, sunlight, correct breathing, humour, if i can,t do something give it up and try again later. discipline.. take advice..stop trying to do it all myself.
hooking myself back up with the universe,its about mind body and spirit..one can,t exist without the other.. discovered something else yesterday, i,m experimenting, it,s simply being still and being aware, intuition.
also sound of music ! the best musical score ever, Rodgers and Hammerstein deserved an oscar.. they may have been given one, not sure,
i could act it..! we often did, on the stage in the great hall after coming back from umpteen trips to the flicks. palladium. !
don,ts..
no caffeine, meat, dairy,
alcohol, don,t bother much anyway in fact i am and always have been allergic to alcohol.
wheat.
stress?
do,s.
relaxation.
thinking of myself first instead of the other way round martyrs go to an early grave.
fruit veg already eat loads. esp. carrots....dogs love them too..!
adequate rest,graded excerise, fresh air, sunlight, correct breathing, humour, if i can,t do something give it up and try again later. discipline.. take advice..stop trying to do it all myself.
hooking myself back up with the universe,its about mind body and spirit..one can,t exist without the other.. discovered something else yesterday, i,m experimenting, it,s simply being still and being aware, intuition.
also sound of music ! the best musical score ever, Rodgers and Hammerstein deserved an oscar.. they may have been given one, not sure,
i could act it..! we often did, on the stage in the great hall after coming back from umpteen trips to the flicks. palladium. !
hobbies..
I,ll cardmake again today, havent been able to for ages as i ran out of ink and xmas was so busy, so i,m back on track,..i think an interest a hobby something that inspires you to "think" of nice things gets you up on a morning. ....a positive thought sparkles with life...
7am
7am and its freezing. I woke thinking of the greats, why ? lord knows, the greats, pioneers, scientists, composers, visionaries, sir walter Raleigh, columbus, many more, discoverers of new lands,..the dreamers who had visions that one day man would walk on the moon , some of these visions were a bit before their time but nevertheless it spurred children on to one day become scientists, which in turn made these visions a reality,.
this thought was born from my love of music, radio.s on all day and into the night, it,s so good,...
and the composers,.?.the lovers of music, Schubert Handel Beethoven these were all genius in thier own right,.......
truly "masters of their craft"..
suns coming out but it,s so cold and windy. thats it really.!
this thought was born from my love of music, radio.s on all day and into the night, it,s so good,...
and the composers,.?.the lovers of music, Schubert Handel Beethoven these were all genius in thier own right,.......
truly "masters of their craft"..
suns coming out but it,s so cold and windy. thats it really.!
life on mars
I don,t believe for one minute that the "bigfoot" on mars is real the,res no oxygen as far as i know, i glanced at the pic in the paper for one nanosecond then turned the page..
its as bad as hearing every day about young girls sadly losing thier marbles through overindulgence...they have everything yet stlll aren't satisfied.....it,s quite shameful...
its as bad as hearing every day about young girls sadly losing thier marbles through overindulgence...they have everything yet stlll aren't satisfied.....it,s quite shameful...
nighthawk truckshunter..
listening to truckshunters ians playing some good music..havin a cuppa gonna make a ham sandwich then i,ll internet shop at sainsburys,,
in 2007 my stars were, transformation for me will come about through conflict .. spooky dooky,...
in 2007 my stars were, transformation for me will come about through conflict .. spooky dooky,...
wondering if i,ll ever be able to work my way back to being gilly cardmaker teapot dusterer.. cos i loved being her, joy and fun.. the real me.,,,and ive learnt a lot of lifes lessons..but life is all about learning and the psychic thing, . my gran was psychic..we can all be intuitives if we so desire,night to all those out in the mystical ether the unsleepers,..x im shattered...i think if you are true and trustworthy people will realise this one day.. maybe thousands of years down the line but thats what keeps me going. thats it really..
except to say ian asked the definition of happiness, i think it could be life..and all it,s wonders..grasp them and if you can,t in that moment, never stop dreaming of the day you do, picture it..if you don,t succeed you,ll have enjoyed the ride...
except to say ian asked the definition of happiness, i think it could be life..and all it,s wonders..grasp them and if you can,t in that moment, never stop dreaming of the day you do, picture it..if you don,t succeed you,ll have enjoyed the ride...
Wednesday 23 January 2008
springtime..
was gonna make some cards but could sleep on a clothesline at the wrong time..up half the night ......days are soooo looonng...... wish the fine weather was here.......
did a p. challenge today,,
did a p. challenge this afternoon............denmark,.... im really no good at this.......
elephant grey...gooseberry but grapefruit was first ,..weird or what ..just shows what ? lord knows...
elephant grey...gooseberry but grapefruit was first ,..weird or what ..just shows what ? lord knows...
3pm..
still here faffing on you,d think id "nowt" better to do which i probably havent, picture much too dark of gnomes but ... there you go i,m no harvey bailey..i,m giving up the ghost now....novelty will wear off i,m sure..
my lovely da. his pear tree
well i feel i can talk about this now,..
dad in hospital again yesterday and it looks like he,ll be back again to have things hopefully put right... 82 and heart of gold..xxxxxxxxx i said the blogs just about me n the dogs, true! but my dad won,t mind a mention,
dad in hospital again yesterday and it looks like he,ll be back again to have things hopefully put right... 82 and heart of gold..xxxxxxxxx i said the blogs just about me n the dogs, true! but my dad won,t mind a mention,
cardmaking hobby..faffing about really..
by 6pm this will be a card...
listening while on the computer..
listening while on the computer..
think its horrendous that women can be abused esp mental cruelty,...but also think some men get a very raw deal too with kids and financial matters...but men are supposed to be strong, sadly we are all the same underneath really..human..!
up for a cuppa..
I think ive a goblin living with me determined to cause mix up in my life. it could even be beelzebub. if i say that 3 times he,ll appear in front of me..sure as eggs is eggs if i went on through eternity it,d be the same.. doesnt matter what effort i put in,...i thought if i don,t try with anything, then i can,t be in bother. my stars yesterday were,.. you are coming to the end of a long road of months of mix ups and miscommunication.. that sums it up really..its just groundhog day every day......
.if i had to pick 2 qualities id look for in a friend itd be trust and loyalty....and .if you are stood on the deck of the titanic you,d want some one to stand beside you, how many would do that unselfishly? .. off up the wooden hill...the twizzles are snoring... still wont go out in the wet .. its been raining forever...
.if i had to pick 2 qualities id look for in a friend itd be trust and loyalty....and .if you are stood on the deck of the titanic you,d want some one to stand beside you, how many would do that unselfishly? .. off up the wooden hill...the twizzles are snoring... still wont go out in the wet .. its been raining forever...
Tuesday 22 January 2008
fairy ice shimmer..
I once emailed a psychic asking for advice cos ever since i wrote to another psychic healer asking to be put on the absent healing list (which was free),..ive seen "blue lights" the only way to describe the lights is brilliant blue, Saphire really, about the size of a ten pence piece but only for a few seconds not long enough to have a good look, its not frightening which is good cos im petrified at the thought of spooks and such, lights are just out of the field of vision
, some days none, others all the time, anyway the psychic said i could be sensitive to psychic phenonema, and put me on the guest list for the next haunting very kind but, no way , id rather drink vinegar straight out of the bottle.... i,d be petrified,
ive no idea what it means but its quite exciting testing it out. an interview on radio, some people from durham, one said they could be "healing lights" there to protect and so it got spookier.. only trouble, ? i soak things up like a sponge, its not just lights, feelings too, tuning in kinda thing. i,m just new to it all really....
, some days none, others all the time, anyway the psychic said i could be sensitive to psychic phenonema, and put me on the guest list for the next haunting very kind but, no way , id rather drink vinegar straight out of the bottle.... i,d be petrified,ive no idea what it means but its quite exciting testing it out. an interview on radio, some people from durham, one said they could be "healing lights" there to protect and so it got spookier.. only trouble, ? i soak things up like a sponge, its not just lights, feelings too, tuning in kinda thing. i,m just new to it all really....
way out.. p. challenge.. 4pm
no 2,... obviously didnt follow instructions... just swallowed a vitamin as big as a torpedo..
loooooong day again..thing about music n radio even if you feel wick if you try to sing a long and ignore those who tell you to wrap it or words similar it strengthens the lungs, i TRY to do it all the time, well sometimes,...i,d get on my own nerves and very often do....
as captain von trapp said to maria, "tell me maria were you this much trouble at the abbey" ??
maria replied.......quite innocently ...."oh much,..... much more"....!! said with a dead pan face..
loooooong day again..thing about music n radio even if you feel wick if you try to sing a long and ignore those who tell you to wrap it or words similar it strengthens the lungs, i TRY to do it all the time, well sometimes,...i,d get on my own nerves and very often do....
as captain von trapp said to maria, "tell me maria were you this much trouble at the abbey" ??
maria replied.......quite innocently ...."oh much,..... much more"....!! said with a dead pan face..
printing 12.30pm
decided its gonna be an angel and fairy blog...
it,s a hobby i love..
it,s a hobby i love..on computer... new ink arrived so printing off some angels..
9.30am
just been reading my booklet from the m.e. assc. in chester le street some one made a comment about a "guiding star".
the bird house blew down ages ago, a little blue tit has been in the garden all morning i thought they flew south for the winter? how easy life would be if we could do the same, just pop off at will.......a family of blue tits come every year, wether they are the same family ive no idea..
the bird house blew down ages ago, a little blue tit has been in the garden all morning i thought they flew south for the winter? how easy life would be if we could do the same, just pop off at will.......a family of blue tits come every year, wether they are the same family ive no idea..
6am
ians just mentioned eating road kill, some ones doing it? no its not a good idea, not for me, even if the animals are dead,...but everyone to thier own, free choice, i,m not eating anything with a face, and chickens, no, its not right, not after i read how they live, thier poor little legs broken, unless of course they are free range organic, but no...
2,15am
up having a cuppa listening to truckshunters..and its still colder than a witches snitch..snows gone,...
Monday 21 January 2008
who invented music?
it was actually pope gregory 1st. in c600, i think it,ll go back even further to cavemen.
musicals..7pm..
bored.fed up...remember being taken into newcastle to see my fair lady by the lady next door this was my first ever trip to the "flicks" can,t remember much about the film but can remember excitement of it, must have been about 5,...and the meal at the restaurant afterwards,? i hated the food, but it left a love of musicals with me, les miserable, cats, phantom of the opera, ...and the best ...! riverdance, michael flatley, m,s butler, not a musical but dance at its very best... wondering who invented music he should be given a medal.! bet it was a man, women just wouldnt have the time..
two twizzles..
the two twizzles....tara n meg..my pink craft drawers, (one set), others litter the house,look like they are breeding..chocka with cardmaking stuff. one of the twizzles ran away with the curtain tie back..it turned up in the back garden but not soon enough for the picture..just thought it looks a poor show..but thats pets for you..
pull of the moon..12.30pm.
It,s true that psychiatric hospitals have more admissions around the time of the full moon, the moon dictates the ebb and flow the pull of the tide, an invisible force,..the wind is an invisible energy too it rustles the leaves on the trees, we see this and accept it quite easily, take it for granted,
yet some refuse to open up to the idea that maybe just maybe psychic phenomena can exist, eg tuning in to a higher positive energy, it,ll never happen without belief, a trust in a higher benevolent energy that can be used for good,
I suppose if a unicorn appeared in the back garden it,d take a while for the wonder to sink in,then after a while we,d think quite blaise`..."oh just another unicorn"...maybe in another thousand years peoples attitude will change, the need for material things will be replaced by a need to live life in a simpler way,,that,ll be too late for some..."sensitives" were once burned at the stake...
..telepathy may be the way in the future too, save a fortune on stamps...
Ive been busy and gotta give in now to replenish, it may take half an hour maybe longer, unless i have discipline the energy level won,t rise...
yet some refuse to open up to the idea that maybe just maybe psychic phenomena can exist, eg tuning in to a higher positive energy, it,ll never happen without belief, a trust in a higher benevolent energy that can be used for good,
I suppose if a unicorn appeared in the back garden it,d take a while for the wonder to sink in,then after a while we,d think quite blaise`..."oh just another unicorn"...maybe in another thousand years peoples attitude will change, the need for material things will be replaced by a need to live life in a simpler way,,that,ll be too late for some..."sensitives" were once burned at the stake...
..telepathy may be the way in the future too, save a fortune on stamps...
Ive been busy and gotta give in now to replenish, it may take half an hour maybe longer, unless i have discipline the energy level won,t rise...
snowing to high heaven 11am..
snowing to high heaven, schools shut at spenny, radio in background, washed all my pomanders, could have knitted myself another dog the amount of fluff i gathered..
600 quid for a chrome tap? no words....
i was once addicted to discovery channel...i could have gone on master mind about hitler .. astrology goes way back to the egyptians...
gonna read now..i,m lucky to be able to do this....
600 quid for a chrome tap? no words....
i was once addicted to discovery channel...i could have gone on master mind about hitler .. astrology goes way back to the egyptians...
gonna read now..i,m lucky to be able to do this....
rain rain go away...
we,ve had enough rain to refloat noah,s ark, the dogs hate it, the back gardens a sea of mud and they trail it in..thats when they force themselves out. my mam always says "i hate mondays" ive always thought the opposite..mondays are a fresh start, i just don,t like weekends.
I,m gonna research vitamins n health supp. again, ive tried them all already, spent a small fortune, every vitamin from c to x y z , spirulina, ginseng, all of the supplements really, try anything once as long as it,s recommended,i found flower essences by edward bach work, how? no idea, but a million bottles are sold in chemists every year, there is a flower essence for every mood and emotion, 3 drops on the tongue, a good all rounder for shock upheaval and trauma is rescue remedy. brancepeth had the best conker trees..
I,m gonna research vitamins n health supp. again, ive tried them all already, spent a small fortune, every vitamin from c to x y z , spirulina, ginseng, all of the supplements really, try anything once as long as it,s recommended,i found flower essences by edward bach work, how? no idea, but a million bottles are sold in chemists every year, there is a flower essence for every mood and emotion, 3 drops on the tongue, a good all rounder for shock upheaval and trauma is rescue remedy. brancepeth had the best conker trees..
deja vu
just read my last post it reminded me, at the bottom of the "field of gold" stood a big tree been there for donkeys years, all the kids seemed to gather there,..one of those hollowed out in the middle trees and you think ,well how is it standing..?
as a child id walk down and sit at its roots and always got the distinct impression id been there before like a deja` vu kinda feeling..i was too young to know about such things but it was nevertheless a feeling i had, wondering how many times that happens, or is it only me..
ive had it before through life too,...some times id think of people out of the blue maybe i hadnt seen them for ages and they,d just spring to mind, later in the day id see them or they,d telephone,...coincidences, very spooky..
as a child id walk down and sit at its roots and always got the distinct impression id been there before like a deja` vu kinda feeling..i was too young to know about such things but it was nevertheless a feeling i had, wondering how many times that happens, or is it only me..
ive had it before through life too,...some times id think of people out of the blue maybe i hadnt seen them for ages and they,d just spring to mind, later in the day id see them or they,d telephone,...coincidences, very spooky..
fields of gold...
I,m lucky that the village i live in is surrounded by open spaces, farmland on nearly all sides.. when young in long hot summers that seemed to last forever id just hop over the fence it was a "style" actually into fields of tall golden corn waving in the summer breeze that stretched as far as the eye could see..down to browney,
farmer oblivious thank heavens, its still like that now, beautiful.
I spent a lot of time in Brancepeth too,
thats gotta be one of the most picturesque villages ever..
straight off the lid of a box of chocolates..
.it was said that the castle was haunted by a white lady and the owls eyes tunnel also reputed to be haunted...
i plucked up the courage to walk through one my friend the other as they ran adjacent,
have to say it was a mighty long way to the other end dark and petrifying...i left my name in the visitors book of st Brandons church nearly every week, it,ll be gone now.
although a few miles away, we could hear the bells ringing out on a clear night with the wind in the right direction,sadly the church caught fire, its rebuilt now, awesome,
like a pheonix thats risen from the ashes,,.
farmer oblivious thank heavens, its still like that now, beautiful.
I spent a lot of time in Brancepeth too,
thats gotta be one of the most picturesque villages ever..
straight off the lid of a box of chocolates..
.it was said that the castle was haunted by a white lady and the owls eyes tunnel also reputed to be haunted...
i plucked up the courage to walk through one my friend the other as they ran adjacent,
have to say it was a mighty long way to the other end dark and petrifying...i left my name in the visitors book of st Brandons church nearly every week, it,ll be gone now.
although a few miles away, we could hear the bells ringing out on a clear night with the wind in the right direction,sadly the church caught fire, its rebuilt now, awesome,
like a pheonix thats risen from the ashes,,.
Sunday 20 January 2008
cold
and its colder than a witches snitch in our living room...taz nearly bit me when i walked past silly animal.....neither dogs go out when its raining..stand on the step looking weary.....sons gotta bad finger came in with it last night said he must have jammed it in the door? yes the pub door thought i.. !
11pm
its just so eerily quiet..still......
i,ll have to try changing something next week, have a different outlook. lord knows.. but somethings gotta be done, my cuz birthday so i,ll make her a card,..then house is quiet so i,ll tidy, radio in the background.... think if i could drive id be out so maybe i,m inbetween time, getting ready for change... it,ll be weird but ive outgrown this.. new horizons beckon... ..but ive become so used to this kinda life..it,ll be really weird too.. at the minute it doesnt fill me with gladness...think its called transition..
ive just had a thought .. sometimes you,ve gotta step back and just leave things up to the universe, trust and let it work its own magic...
i,ll have to try changing something next week, have a different outlook. lord knows.. but somethings gotta be done, my cuz birthday so i,ll make her a card,..then house is quiet so i,ll tidy, radio in the background.... think if i could drive id be out so maybe i,m inbetween time, getting ready for change... it,ll be weird but ive outgrown this.. new horizons beckon... ..but ive become so used to this kinda life..it,ll be really weird too.. at the minute it doesnt fill me with gladness...think its called transition..
ive just had a thought .. sometimes you,ve gotta step back and just leave things up to the universe, trust and let it work its own magic...
bored witless.
back on talking to myself cos its boredom avenue again. don,t watch much t,v unless it,s something startlingly mind boggling,it has to be to keep my attention. easily bored thats me.
If my life had been different id never have thought about blogging or had time for it,but i decided if i did, it,d be about spiritual stuff too as thats the sort of stuff that interests me at the moment.
being stuck in you explore different topics. go inward, thats not a bad thing but i understand not everyone shares these views, thats ok, everyone to their own, it,s a record for myself really.
past life regression,s another topic i find interesting,
I watched an early morning tv prog a few years ago, the presenter was regressed and had a past life memory of durham, i was hooked.
Although she admitted she,d never visited durham she gave a good description of the streets around the cathedral, places as they were hundreds of years ago, and inside the tower ect,
she gave the name of the person she had been in a previous life, a male, described the durham house she lived in with her then wife, i think "he" actually fell to his death from the tower and was buried nearby,
she said that the gravestone was in the vicinity of the cathedral itself, the tv researchers got in touch with the records office in durham and confirmed quite a lot of her info was true . she was astounded. there were too many coincidences for it to be discounted.
Ive been interested in past life theorys way back to the 1600,s why i have.nt the foggiest idea. very spooky.
If my life had been different id never have thought about blogging or had time for it,but i decided if i did, it,d be about spiritual stuff too as thats the sort of stuff that interests me at the moment.
being stuck in you explore different topics. go inward, thats not a bad thing but i understand not everyone shares these views, thats ok, everyone to their own, it,s a record for myself really.
past life regression,s another topic i find interesting,
I watched an early morning tv prog a few years ago, the presenter was regressed and had a past life memory of durham, i was hooked.
Although she admitted she,d never visited durham she gave a good description of the streets around the cathedral, places as they were hundreds of years ago, and inside the tower ect,
she gave the name of the person she had been in a previous life, a male, described the durham house she lived in with her then wife, i think "he" actually fell to his death from the tower and was buried nearby,
she said that the gravestone was in the vicinity of the cathedral itself, the tv researchers got in touch with the records office in durham and confirmed quite a lot of her info was true . she was astounded. there were too many coincidences for it to be discounted.
Ive been interested in past life theorys way back to the 1600,s why i have.nt the foggiest idea. very spooky.
boredom
well i,m not watching dancing on ice.. theres been some really spooky stuff going on too..its keeping my mind occupied.. opened the drawer to take out a jotter a white feather dropped onto my lap...bout 3ins long we have no birds dead weird..did a psychic challenge,,, carrot !
retreats
retreats appealed to me for the change of scenery, time for me, get myself out of the same groove, just "time" really.. peace and quiet......sometimes there,ll be days when you cant seem to do anything right no matter how hard you try.., then, it might be best to do nothing...
Saturday 19 January 2008
bored witless ..
I wasnt gonna blog but i,m bored witless. nothing on the box, watched the vikings, read all i want to read, bought jordans book on a bidding site, crystal, a quid,brand new, just to see if it,s any good,having a cuppa, might post some pics tomorrow take new one of cards n stuff..
thats it really...i should clean the computer it needs a good dust, old papers to sort and bin, my craft drawers havent been sorted for ages,gonna have to go hunting some music, and to top it all its bucketing down..the internets as slow as a snail..everyone must be online..
and really i should just give it up call it a day cos i,m dog tired..... heartbeats a bit irregular..
so thats what i,ll do.. the path of least resistance gets me everytime...listen to the corrs then get up for t.shunters..
thats it really...i should clean the computer it needs a good dust, old papers to sort and bin, my craft drawers havent been sorted for ages,gonna have to go hunting some music, and to top it all its bucketing down..the internets as slow as a snail..everyone must be online..
and really i should just give it up call it a day cos i,m dog tired..... heartbeats a bit irregular..
so thats what i,ll do.. the path of least resistance gets me everytime...listen to the corrs then get up for t.shunters..
days out..rainbows end..
when i started this blog it was to be a journal leading up to my date with the rainbows end..i told ian of my wish, i,d set my heart on working my way there, it,s truly my fave place,
i decided that anythings better than being stuck indoors a prisoner, well a very long time ago but just couldnt do it.
.but these things happen and have to be put up with but not an longer so thats gotta be good thinking... change....i,ll give it a go...
i decided that anythings better than being stuck indoors a prisoner, well a very long time ago but just couldnt do it.
.but these things happen and have to be put up with but not an longer so thats gotta be good thinking... change....i,ll give it a go...
faith..
come across some letters from a psychic healer..reminded me i telephoned her 2 years ago she told me that at the heart of everything,.. mediumship, psychic healing, is love.. for yourself and every other living thing....in a nutshell really..
another day..
just got up.suns out but its very watery. being positive and the fact that music can uplift you, my sentiments exactly.. positive thinking works youve nothing to lose really just your negativity..
night time 5.13am..
up listening to truckshunters. ians just said "reasons to be cheerfull" i,m sure there are loads? nights are getting longer or should that be days ? i can,t remember.. daffs and crocus are showing which means springs on it,s way..
still raining....... megs asleep on one chair taz on the other...
noticed other truckshunters have blogs too, it,s down to ian mentioning the idea on the night show, he said "you can open a blog linked to truckshunters if you like" ..the internets good for shopping, keeping in touch, ive been internet shopping, blogging, bidding site..thats all really,... there must be more to it, been that long since i sent email i can,t remember how to do it..
still raining....... megs asleep on one chair taz on the other...
noticed other truckshunters have blogs too, it,s down to ian mentioning the idea on the night show, he said "you can open a blog linked to truckshunters if you like" ..the internets good for shopping, keeping in touch, ive been internet shopping, blogging, bidding site..thats all really,... there must be more to it, been that long since i sent email i can,t remember how to do it..
Friday 18 January 2008
groundhog day...
supper time.. groundhog day... ...its pouring down outside..looks like it,ll rain for ever.....washing up can wait till morning unless the fairies come in in the night... i could do with one..2 even..
time out..
have,nt the energy for the computer today, so i,m out, just going to read,poor sleep cos of muscles twitching, electric shock feelings when dropping off, symptoms that come and go, it,s been about 3 months since the last episode, it,s when i pick up a cold... ......but i,m still driven to succeed, i,ll keep on trying everyday just as always.... it,s pouring down..
Thursday 17 January 2008
happiness
jayne once emailed me to say "gillian we are meant to be happy" i could understand that but not very clearly, how can you make yourself happy when theres others to consider without seeming selfish.? well it,s starting to dawn on me that unless you do make yourself happy first, and healthy, the people around you won,t be happy either, so really it,s back to the drawing board for me.
meg the collies just had nearly half of my chicken curry, taz is asleep, for the record the blogs about me and the 2 dogs no one else nothing else, which is the only way, ive no right to mention anything else and have no intention of doing so,
anyway i,m too busy with myself, ian mentioned the rules of blogging so its just me i,m afraid,the dogs don,t care either way.
I got meg from a lovely home age 5 weeks and what a star she turned out to be,
i,ve had dogs before but she,s the best, without a doubt, such good company.
i,m off to watch trial and retribution, i like linda la plante. I think its gonna be a while before i,m out ive just walked next door for the first time to post a get well card i,m tired...
meg the collies just had nearly half of my chicken curry, taz is asleep, for the record the blogs about me and the 2 dogs no one else nothing else, which is the only way, ive no right to mention anything else and have no intention of doing so,
anyway i,m too busy with myself, ian mentioned the rules of blogging so its just me i,m afraid,the dogs don,t care either way.
I got meg from a lovely home age 5 weeks and what a star she turned out to be,
i,ve had dogs before but she,s the best, without a doubt, such good company.
i,m off to watch trial and retribution, i like linda la plante. I think its gonna be a while before i,m out ive just walked next door for the first time to post a get well card i,m tired...
meditation
I use meditation and have done for a good while. a fave is simply sitting quiet, eyes closed, thinking outwards towards the universe to a land of make believe,blue birds and lemon pops, breathing deeply, imagining a blue healing light coming down from above far above the clouds, just basically soak it up.
let the world drift away...
freezing cold is one symptom thats plagued me for a long time...
let the world drift away...
freezing cold is one symptom thats plagued me for a long time...
time out ..
time out....
always wanted to go on a retreat checking them out on holy island spiritual retreats where you can choose to be silent for the entirety of the stay.
It would have to be silent for me its the only way i could do it. to sit looking out to sea...recharging batteries,can,t think of anything better,at the moment...
posties just dropped off a parcel, new book healing with angels, corrs cd bargain on a bidding site.
taz is pressed up against the radiator, megs in the garden, kitchens warm, i,m cold..
hot water bottles a constant for me...
quotes... imagination is far better than knowledge.
if no one believes it becomes a self fullfilling prophecy..
in the final analysis the hope of every person is simply peace of mind.
always wanted to go on a retreat checking them out on holy island spiritual retreats where you can choose to be silent for the entirety of the stay.
It would have to be silent for me its the only way i could do it. to sit looking out to sea...recharging batteries,can,t think of anything better,at the moment...
posties just dropped off a parcel, new book healing with angels, corrs cd bargain on a bidding site.
taz is pressed up against the radiator, megs in the garden, kitchens warm, i,m cold..
hot water bottles a constant for me...
quotes... imagination is far better than knowledge.
if no one believes it becomes a self fullfilling prophecy..
in the final analysis the hope of every person is simply peace of mind.
Wednesday 16 January 2008
tears again
my mam just rang at 4pm to say my brothers dog hannah a beautiful golden Labrador only has weeks to live she sadly hasnt been well for ages she,s getting on in years and now has cancer of the mouth. such a lovely pet... its been tears all round again... you know we love our animals and get attached to them only a pet lover would understand,.. i,m worried about my dad too he hasn,t been well for ages neither has my mam... well i wish things would look up...
Tuesday 15 January 2008
stop to smell the roses...
when i started this blog my chosen names for a blog title were,nt available so i came upon the idea of a fairy name,
after finding a fairy name site my fairy name is
bracken ice shimmer,.. she,s a bone chilling bringer of justice,
she lives where bracken and curly ferns grow, she is only seen when the first flowers begin to blossom which is quite a coincidence and spooky, she dresses in leafy bracken green and has icy blue butterfly wings...
so the blog title was born...
i hope one day to be able to say.. i may have lost a lot of my life but "I just stopped for a while... to smell the roses"...
quote...the loss of the battle of waterloo became the salvation of france... thomas jefferson..
whatever life throws at you you musn,t give up keep on keeping on.
my gran a lovely woman florence ada was a spiritualist and could read tealeaves, i never ever saw her unhappy or in a bad temper although deaf in one ear which caused a lot of problems she never stopped saying.. " lets have a laugh gill" we played eye spy, she worked at a school for years and years, i too spent my childhood there, me and my cuz, well from age 3 to 15 really, until i started work,.
had a choice of the post office savings as it was in those days but opted for working with schoolfriends who didnt stay long leaving me alone and petrified,
feeling sick and just wishing for home time...
but i was put under the wing of 2 of the loveliest elderly ladies,
i was taken down onto the shop floor on my first day by the staff supervisor who told them"ive brought you your little girl " so i was adopted really,
but i spent breaktimes for the first few months in the upstairs loo looking out of the window over the Market, hiding, too shy to go into the dining room and join in, my life was blighted by it,
..everyone seemed full of confidence and this frightened the life out of me thinking how do they do it..?
i was talked about, the lady i worked with had been told by another worker that i stood in the toilets each break looking out of the window, pitied probably,.
the girl on the record counter played songs all day which i loved,
david essex gonna make you a star, barry white,......it was ages before i found my feet..
the days were so long and tiring until after a while they put me upstairs promoted..
a small office where handbags were kept,
working between the two,.. flitting about... i sat in awe, dreaming, while taking lunch money, giving out wages and just generally enjoying the change until i moved again into the large main office....so it turned out well in the end..
anyway we played while the women worked..but never in term time,.
the boys were never there when we were,
it was like summerland....another world..open spaces, freedom...
being on holiday every day plenty to do,
with the cathedral bells chiming out the hour in the distance,
walking down to the river over Prebends bridge a shortcut to the flicks Palladium,
to see sound of music or tom thumb,
or to buy a "floater" from boydells toy shop to use in the pool,
which terrified me, as i opened the door the utter quiet,
and sight of the still deep water was eerie, always afraid id fall in the deep end and the shallow end was about 4 ft and still seemed deep to me,
id swish the water about to make it seem less scary, we usd the schols own balsa wood flaoters which were good,
water was freezing too as the heating was turned off when the boys were,nt there,
i nearly drowned when the girl looking after us said, jump in i,ll catch you,
i trusted and found myself under water for what seemed like a life time,
i still cant swim ive no intention of learning either,
deep water scares me,..i never went in the baths at durham either,
but loved the hot soup from the vending machine,
I can remember every morning walking along the lane to the school noticing the utter peace and tranquillity of it,
and spying great big fungi that grew above a wall that hung over onto the path like massive toadstools, if it had been raining we had to duck to avoid being drenched,
as we walked into the schoolyard passing the porters lodge a nice smell would be the first thing to greet us, i,m sure it came from the drain as there was an iron grid laid there but it was still nice, how a drain can give off a nice smell ive no idea, maybe some kind of cleaning fluid was used.
up a little lane past the tuckshop (which sadly was always empty when we were there empty jars .) an army assault course with ropes we called them "tarzan ropes" and hung like monkeys having a whale of a time..
in winter when the snow was deep we,d sledge on the nearby hill, observatory,
or we,d go looking for the porter saying "please can we have the key to the gym".
we,d swing on the ropes in there all day then next day we couldnt walk cos our ribs were so sore..or play piano in the music rooms,
on chapel days on the hill with a million steps up, one for every boy that died in the war,
we,d help by collecting the kneelers then sit out front in the sun just taking in the view of the schoolyard below,
more often than not we,d roly poly down the chapel bank landing in the flower beds at the bottom then we,d have to hide until the gardener passed... or we sat by the pavillion in summer swinging our legs writing in our jotters.
.i remember the day the bushbabys arrived, we,d never ever seen one,.
i waved at the queen as her car went past no idea when that was,.60 summat,
we,d sing petula,s "downtown" as we walked down the bank to town,
autumn cos durham was lighting up below us,
as we got older we started to notice the boys that came periodically to work,
usually on the new buildings that seemed to be going up at a fast pace,
new science blocks ect,..
but thats all it was, watching, giggling.
remember laughing one day me and cuz, sitting on one of the benches on the rugby field watching as one of the masters tried to put up a badminton net we, unashamedly sat in
hysterics while he tried to put it up red faced. getting in a right old state,
eventually he said "why dont you come and help instead of laughing". we did.
but couldnt stop laughing.
.
my gran was ever a child at heart, sweet natured,interested in others folk,
ive never grown up...not really ..i dont intend to .. i,d rather be a kid at heart for ever..
my sons just popped into the kitchen from, ? well it seems like nowhere giving me a fright.so ive told him i,m going to hang a cowbell around his neck to alert me of his arrival... he,s over 18 so this won,t be deemed as cruelty...
after finding a fairy name site my fairy name is
bracken ice shimmer,.. she,s a bone chilling bringer of justice,
she lives where bracken and curly ferns grow, she is only seen when the first flowers begin to blossom which is quite a coincidence and spooky, she dresses in leafy bracken green and has icy blue butterfly wings...
so the blog title was born...
i hope one day to be able to say.. i may have lost a lot of my life but "I just stopped for a while... to smell the roses"...
quote...the loss of the battle of waterloo became the salvation of france... thomas jefferson..
whatever life throws at you you musn,t give up keep on keeping on.
my gran a lovely woman florence ada was a spiritualist and could read tealeaves, i never ever saw her unhappy or in a bad temper although deaf in one ear which caused a lot of problems she never stopped saying.. " lets have a laugh gill" we played eye spy, she worked at a school for years and years, i too spent my childhood there, me and my cuz, well from age 3 to 15 really, until i started work,.
had a choice of the post office savings as it was in those days but opted for working with schoolfriends who didnt stay long leaving me alone and petrified,
feeling sick and just wishing for home time...
but i was put under the wing of 2 of the loveliest elderly ladies,
i was taken down onto the shop floor on my first day by the staff supervisor who told them"ive brought you your little girl " so i was adopted really,
but i spent breaktimes for the first few months in the upstairs loo looking out of the window over the Market, hiding, too shy to go into the dining room and join in, my life was blighted by it,
..everyone seemed full of confidence and this frightened the life out of me thinking how do they do it..?
i was talked about, the lady i worked with had been told by another worker that i stood in the toilets each break looking out of the window, pitied probably,.
the girl on the record counter played songs all day which i loved,
david essex gonna make you a star, barry white,......it was ages before i found my feet..
the days were so long and tiring until after a while they put me upstairs promoted..
a small office where handbags were kept,
working between the two,.. flitting about... i sat in awe, dreaming, while taking lunch money, giving out wages and just generally enjoying the change until i moved again into the large main office....so it turned out well in the end..
anyway we played while the women worked..but never in term time,.
the boys were never there when we were,
it was like summerland....another world..open spaces, freedom...
being on holiday every day plenty to do,
with the cathedral bells chiming out the hour in the distance,
walking down to the river over Prebends bridge a shortcut to the flicks Palladium,
to see sound of music or tom thumb,
or to buy a "floater" from boydells toy shop to use in the pool,
which terrified me, as i opened the door the utter quiet,
and sight of the still deep water was eerie, always afraid id fall in the deep end and the shallow end was about 4 ft and still seemed deep to me,
id swish the water about to make it seem less scary, we usd the schols own balsa wood flaoters which were good,
water was freezing too as the heating was turned off when the boys were,nt there,
i nearly drowned when the girl looking after us said, jump in i,ll catch you,
i trusted and found myself under water for what seemed like a life time,
i still cant swim ive no intention of learning either,
deep water scares me,..i never went in the baths at durham either,
but loved the hot soup from the vending machine,
I can remember every morning walking along the lane to the school noticing the utter peace and tranquillity of it,
and spying great big fungi that grew above a wall that hung over onto the path like massive toadstools, if it had been raining we had to duck to avoid being drenched,
as we walked into the schoolyard passing the porters lodge a nice smell would be the first thing to greet us, i,m sure it came from the drain as there was an iron grid laid there but it was still nice, how a drain can give off a nice smell ive no idea, maybe some kind of cleaning fluid was used.
up a little lane past the tuckshop (which sadly was always empty when we were there empty jars .) an army assault course with ropes we called them "tarzan ropes" and hung like monkeys having a whale of a time..
in winter when the snow was deep we,d sledge on the nearby hill, observatory,
or we,d go looking for the porter saying "please can we have the key to the gym".
we,d swing on the ropes in there all day then next day we couldnt walk cos our ribs were so sore..or play piano in the music rooms,
on chapel days on the hill with a million steps up, one for every boy that died in the war,
we,d help by collecting the kneelers then sit out front in the sun just taking in the view of the schoolyard below,
more often than not we,d roly poly down the chapel bank landing in the flower beds at the bottom then we,d have to hide until the gardener passed... or we sat by the pavillion in summer swinging our legs writing in our jotters.
.i remember the day the bushbabys arrived, we,d never ever seen one,.
i waved at the queen as her car went past no idea when that was,.60 summat,
we,d sing petula,s "downtown" as we walked down the bank to town,
autumn cos durham was lighting up below us,
as we got older we started to notice the boys that came periodically to work,
usually on the new buildings that seemed to be going up at a fast pace,
new science blocks ect,..
but thats all it was, watching, giggling.
remember laughing one day me and cuz, sitting on one of the benches on the rugby field watching as one of the masters tried to put up a badminton net we, unashamedly sat in
hysterics while he tried to put it up red faced. getting in a right old state,
eventually he said "why dont you come and help instead of laughing". we did.
but couldnt stop laughing.
.
my gran was ever a child at heart, sweet natured,interested in others folk,
ive never grown up...not really ..i dont intend to .. i,d rather be a kid at heart for ever..
my sons just popped into the kitchen from, ? well it seems like nowhere giving me a fright.so ive told him i,m going to hang a cowbell around his neck to alert me of his arrival... he,s over 18 so this won,t be deemed as cruelty...
Monday 14 January 2008
teapots...handpainted boxes...
on my breakfast bar where i use the computer..
collection of some of my teapots. at the front of the picture is the doll store, the owl, behind are cards ive made, handpainted boxes, more teapots at the back. a french chef he has a carrot for a spout..
collection of some of my teapots. at the front of the picture is the doll store, the owl, behind are cards ive made, handpainted boxes, more teapots at the back. a french chef he has a carrot for a spout..I wander lonely as a cloud....
monday morning and i,m having another day off.......low energy symptoms back with a vengence since coming down with flu last week, everyones had flu but you can bet your bottom dollar i,ll have it hanging on for weeks.
so it,s a listening to radio day......
looking out of the window towards durham, the cathedrals wreathed in mist,
it,s a view i see every day and love it, it,s amazing to think it,s stood there for nearly a thousand years, makes me realise we are just tiny grains of sand in a vast universe,
one of my fave places durham,..its raining too.. it,ll not bother me, i,m not able to get out yet, but look forward to "mooching" the countryside under my own steam in the warm summer sun...... it,s been a long time coming,
striving for my own personal freedom to go wherever i like whenever i like, whenever i choose, and stay out as long as i want.....my own boss..... i,ve been so "fed up," thats the expression....while life passed me by.....i,m not suited to restrictions,
i,m the active type, likes to be on the go, usually bursting with drive and energy the days were never long enough, .
I sang every day, anywhere, to other folks annoyance usually ,
i ignored them...never wanted the good times to end but stop they did, full stop...it drives me bonkers but ive had to grit my teeth and put up with it..... until 12 months ago i didn,t even have the energy for a mobile then was lucky enough to be given one for xmas then my parents bought me a computer in may 2007, mainly for shopping, i think i went a bit overboard in the beginning enjoying being in contact with the outside world for the first time in ages..its taken some getting used to..
maybe later i,ll make some handmade cards it,s a hobby i love. it,s therapy.....
i print angels and fairy images on the computer then stick them on cards for birthdays ect. it just takes me out of myself.
an hour at the computer is about the limit of my energy, then it,s rest time... i,ll read and much later flitter about looking busy, but not doing anything constructive really.
I,m downsizing my teapot collection. i have many and love them all but possessions just harbour dust taking up valuable time, so it,s minimilist for me in everyway now........
although my friend gave me 2 before she moved house a ferris wheel and a lovely green flowery affair, i,ll be keeping them...forever...
so it,s a listening to radio day......
looking out of the window towards durham, the cathedrals wreathed in mist,
it,s a view i see every day and love it, it,s amazing to think it,s stood there for nearly a thousand years, makes me realise we are just tiny grains of sand in a vast universe,
one of my fave places durham,..its raining too.. it,ll not bother me, i,m not able to get out yet, but look forward to "mooching" the countryside under my own steam in the warm summer sun...... it,s been a long time coming,
striving for my own personal freedom to go wherever i like whenever i like, whenever i choose, and stay out as long as i want.....my own boss..... i,ve been so "fed up," thats the expression....while life passed me by.....i,m not suited to restrictions,
i,m the active type, likes to be on the go, usually bursting with drive and energy the days were never long enough, .
I sang every day, anywhere, to other folks annoyance usually ,
i ignored them...never wanted the good times to end but stop they did, full stop...it drives me bonkers but ive had to grit my teeth and put up with it..... until 12 months ago i didn,t even have the energy for a mobile then was lucky enough to be given one for xmas then my parents bought me a computer in may 2007, mainly for shopping, i think i went a bit overboard in the beginning enjoying being in contact with the outside world for the first time in ages..its taken some getting used to..
maybe later i,ll make some handmade cards it,s a hobby i love. it,s therapy.....
i print angels and fairy images on the computer then stick them on cards for birthdays ect. it just takes me out of myself.
an hour at the computer is about the limit of my energy, then it,s rest time... i,ll read and much later flitter about looking busy, but not doing anything constructive really.
I,m downsizing my teapot collection. i have many and love them all but possessions just harbour dust taking up valuable time, so it,s minimilist for me in everyway now........
although my friend gave me 2 before she moved house a ferris wheel and a lovely green flowery affair, i,ll be keeping them...forever...
transformation...freedom..our basic right..
well i opened this blog with the intention of simply recording a little of my progress and probably a few setbacks too,while i try to transform and renew my life, a kind of journal,
thats it in a nutshell really.
I actually blogged friday for the first time then thought "no ive changed my mind, i have.nt the courage", so quickly deleted it.
Then tonight at 1.15am master ian dot robinson of truckshunters dot blogspot dot com fame said, and i quote, "gilly has emailed me to say, "ian i think i,d like to open a blog, ive been on a find your fairy name site and my fairy name is bracken ice shimmer so thats the blog address,"... i was very touched and thought well i better get on sharpish and write something so really it,s down to ian i,m trying again...
so here i am, at 1.30am,and already ive run out of ideas, i,m hoping to get used to blogging and find inspiration tomorrow...
thats it in a nutshell really.
I actually blogged friday for the first time then thought "no ive changed my mind, i have.nt the courage", so quickly deleted it.
Then tonight at 1.15am master ian dot robinson of truckshunters dot blogspot dot com fame said, and i quote, "gilly has emailed me to say, "ian i think i,d like to open a blog, ive been on a find your fairy name site and my fairy name is bracken ice shimmer so thats the blog address,"... i was very touched and thought well i better get on sharpish and write something so really it,s down to ian i,m trying again...
so here i am, at 1.30am,and already ive run out of ideas, i,m hoping to get used to blogging and find inspiration tomorrow...
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