?

it was take that...... suns out in m. and im sure its a wonderful world but i can,t feel it right now.. the little uns pining..i think everyone who,s been ill goes through it.
every hour on the hour. !
facing up to our own mortality.. its awful.
been upstairs in my sanctuary. peace n quiet....everything switched off..asleep for a while,
put alicia k.on. while im here,..

at the risk of repeating myself. sometimes im only tuned into peoples misery on the earth,
folks having nightmares..of circumstances. think when youve been living dead scared for months wether illness or whatever..wondering the outcome of summat you don,t feel.....
you are on autopilot, survival mode. then when you think mebbe its easing a bit the sadness n all the hurt can flood out.. im in a maze looking for the way out into the light.

every waking moments been spent, trying to think of ways to right things.
through xmas new year, a blur.. sentimentality.. no one knows..ive counted how long ive seen my fam today ..since 11pm last night till now. if i counted the hours it would be ??
bout 20,mins...shocking for me and them..