irritable..

I,m feeling so irritable it hurts, everywhere.
can,t even put up with my music or the voices in here.
Im gonna try a sandwich n cuppa. then go online ebay mebbe,
try to transfer my music onto disc.
theres folk much worse off than me at least i don,t have to cook.

was up well after 2am catch up on jobs around the house, bit of dusting, washing up,
sorting my stuff out, papers, craft scraps that i leave all over esp after 9pm.
the floors littered.. i just cut n snip where ever which isnt good housewifery practice,
but then i never made the grade really.

my mams to blame she freely admits to it,
i wasnt allowed to do anything around the house,
i don,t know where to start with cleaning, are you supposed to have a rota? windows one day floors the next ? i just do it willy nilly if i do any at all.
my clothes were there washed n ironed ready just to put on,
i came in from work meal on the table, got changed straight back out.
i was never in the house. spoilt..

I always wanted to do summat else, more fun,interesting.
woke at 4.30am thats happening a lot now.
then 8am just stayed there till after 9.. im gonna have to get a grip soon.

my offspring i have to say is driving me up the wall, i dont think he likes me on the computer,, it seems as if he,s just not happy about it., he had oven chips for supper they werent to his liking i was preoccupied and, should have been paying attention, so he pulled a face, one of those how very dare you feed me those, ...faces...

we won,t let him use the gas cooker incase he comes in one night from clubbing and sets fire to the house,
im actually laughing at that which considering how i feel is worrying in itself..carting me off springs to mind.. i made the same remark the other night then when realised had to delete a whole line, sad when you cant just say things youve always said without worrying,
,esp making jokes about house fires.

upshot is, if id took proper action ages ago and just kept plugging away at folk and myself then id not be in the mess im in now, its gonna take work and discipline i hate that word.

help i need somebody help.. as the line goes..
doesnt make much difference really... either way..back where i started.. ive burnt all bridges or is that boats....the doc..

asked ages ago when i phoned for antibiotics if i could be booked in to the new clinic,
he said yes, ive gotta have more blood tests, i just didnt get back in touch,
i think when you cut yourself off, everything that others take for granted becomes a mountain to climb.
Its always temorra with me, termorra, i love ya termorra its only a day away..
see thats another song that popped up. ill be talking in song soon.