peace n understanding. cosmic ordering.

washed up, sue,s gone till tonight.my own music on painted smile bon jovi suga pie, celine dion. thinking ive had an issue thingy wih a relative going on since before xmas since then ive been trying behind the scenes tirelessly to right it,put it back to where it was, to innocence. where there was joy bright n breezy. its peace of mind thats most important.

ive had no selfish motives.. ever in my life. no games.
my mind doesnt work like that id not know where to start which is why other girls i knew had rings n pearls dripping off them twisting folk round little fingers...
i didnt want those things..they,d have meant nothing to me.

anyway material trappings frighten the life out of me,
its what people give of themselves that matter...plain and simple,
id get no benefit from things you can buy not any more ive gone past those things
.its the true good stuff...that matters for me...things that cost "nowt"..simple things like sincerity, understanding. kindness. caring. loyalty, trust.

Ive always done what i thought others wanted me to do,
..i have a mind that picks up on others, i pre empt to save anguish,
i try to control too instead of letting others be responsible for thier own feeings,
ive learnt not to do that anymore,
a gift a curse honestly i dont know myself.
.i,m.not thinking of me i dont matter now, they must see this, if not madness ensues out of misunderstandings... lifes too short.

astrology for feb.
my lifes lessons are being worked out this month its down for others too, finding ways to do things differently so mistakes never happen again.

its lives at stake at the end of the day. emotions, it may have not seemed like i was doing anything at all. if we cant stick together against the world, humanity is sunk.

I truly think if you can right a misunderstanding and give someone else peace of mind. give them back pride, which in my eyes they never lost anyway, they couldnt,
knowing you never meant to cause hurt.. ever, ever. i repeat.
then i think you can rest easy, thats best to say.. knowing that they can go on feeling better, joyful. once again,!. whats past isnt important now, its about looking forward.

. folk will find out eventually, im "like a dog with a bone".
just want to be alone thats all i ask.
.giving it up to the heavens now.