I,ll stay up another half hour then go back, till ? when ever really, im lucky i can do that, please myself. I found enlightenment. took a long time.
I sincerely hope everyone i know goes out today, tonight, weekend, and has the best time ever.
make the most of the freedom, chill out, blow cares away..if they have any....to the centre of the universe and let someone up there take it off your shoulders, give it up to a higher force..cosmic order,.trust....!.
me ? i have,nt been able to trust anyone ever , that would mean putting my life in thier hands.. id be too scared witless of being dropped like a stone.
when i was young,
i went swimming in a big, deep pool that i was already scared of,
an adult said " jump in i,ll catch you" she didnt, too busy watching the lads jumping off the diving board, i went under, nearly drowned vowed id never do it again..
if anyone offered i,m looking around for reasons not to accept. so its my loss really. !
anyway id just bring folk down while getting well, and that would be the greatest crime. ! unforgivable. !
I tell no one just the blog, its cathartic..
my greatest fear? letting folk down.. not being what i,m cracked up to be, disappointment really cos i,m shy, quiet, boring. id have to think of witty answers and i just can,t,
thats why i stay a hermit. cut myself off.
ive always been one truthfully. even before this, i,m thinking now, how long? all my life really.
turning in, at 7am. most folk are just getting up but i,m a night person, nighthawk.
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